The weekend has held little excitement thus far, but I did have a productive fabric shopping trip with Kanga. I just have to get things pinned and cut and then sometime this week the pants will get done. The shirt on the other hand...it may take a trip to a fabric store to find a similar pattern to the one I have in mind as I didn't realize that they don't have patterns for the tops on the frikin' website.

George Bowering, Canada's poet laureate is coming to town courtesy of my CompLit department. He'll be speaking at Remedy on Thursday night if anyone wants to head down to see him. I've heard he's a complete cocksucker, but I'd like to judge for myself, which I'll get the chance to on far too many occassions this week.

Tongue ring status: stud has been downsized (thank you Kanga) and there have been no complications whatsoever. I've even lost the lisp now so all is well. Blow jobs have experienced a noted improvement. Yes, the added toy has done the impossible and improved upon perfection.
Tania status: realizing that more hard work must be done this term. Realization does not seem to be processing into actual doing of hard work. Systems error.

Yesterday was a lovely day. I didn't get enough work done, but that's probably why it was such a lovely day.

After a strange night where Pickle rented Josie and the Pussycats, which is apparently his favourite movie, I woke up yesterday with the skate punk songs stuck in my head. As well as the hilarious boy band single from the movie "I'm your backdoor lover." Yes folks, it means what you think it means.

I had a great day where even when things went wrong, people were so nice about it that it didn't seem as if they went wrong at all. Though perhaps this is just the rose coloured impression I have of the world when I'm medicated up the ass for my cold. A lovely boy that I met recently sent me some fabulous info about a children's literature conference for graduate students that's being held in Manitoba next year (slightly more affordable than the one in Edinborough) and that's looking for papers on how children's sexuality and gender in presented in the lit, which is one of my big interests! Needless to say I'm giddy.

I then spent the day attending symposiums and having discussions with people I enjoy. And though I had ridiculous amounts of work to do, I then came home to the lovely dinner Pickle had prepared for me and we sat down to watch Hero which is one of the most beautifully filmed movies I've ever seen. I think the translation was a bit crap though.

All in all, though I'm now in a panic about getting work done, I think a day spent reacquainting yourself with the beauty in the world is always well spent.

Yeesh, I don't know what it is, but even the london call girl is sick these days.

Death is not imminent, but I haven't been sick since I moved to Edmonton and I must say I'd forgotten how crappy it is. Still, I trucked it to my 8:00am committee meeting (always a pain when you don't have class until 2:00pm) but for the first time since I sprained my ankle I will be missing belly dancing.

I whipped through the last Artemis Fowl book, which was not quite as good as the first one, but way better then the second one. Thank you Asylus and the little spies. And Kanga just dropped off a signed copy of Colfer's latest book The Wish List so I'll get to that soon.
I was elected Vice President of Communications for the graduate student council for next year which is absolutely fabulous as it means that 1. I get a nice paycheck every month 2. It's a great credit for my CV and 3. I might just get my own radio show (I've been planning this coup for several months so wish me luck for next year).

Okay Pickle is renting movies and I'm going to stop writing as I have nothing to say. Time to fill my pie hole with scrumptious food.

Well I rung in the 27th year of my life by getting on stage with a stripper. Good vibes about this one people, good vibes.

The margarita party was lovely, I thought. The margaritas turned out quite nicely considering I was a novice and a big thank you to Kanga for helping to figure out quantities and such by experimenting with me. And for the blender.

Many people came, all the food was eaten, conversation seemed to be going on around me as I furiously blended things and I got several moments of heavenly goodness in the bosom of Turbo's ...bosom. Asylus got me exactly what I wanted (Turbo's bosom and a book, his generosity knows no bounds) - which leaves me wondering about his little spies and well, what exactly are they spying on? Should I keep my curtains closed at night? I got many unexpected cards as well and I understand that Kanga has gotten me another amazing present which I look forward to with baited breath. A big round table discussion of who had slept with who by association was had amidst the blending, and I think it was agreed upon that we're all a little too close. My dad seemed pretty comfy in the atmosphere (until Asylus decided to grab my boob, but I'm sure daddy dearest has conveniently repressed that, he's good that way).

Then came the desertion. I was left with only six people with which to come enjoy my lapdance. However, they were a good crowd. We headed to Diamonds and proceeded to try and arrange a lapdance. While this was happening, I noticed Neeraj talking to the dj and suddenly I'm getting called on stage by the dj and the lovely Asia. So up I climb and we grope eachother for a bit and then another girl who is having her birthday climbs up too. And the dj asks if we want posters of Asia and we nod, so he tells us we have to turn around in a big circle while flashing our breasts. Done and done. Surprise surprise, after this stunt I had best-birthday-wishes coming from every guy in the place. Well, lets face it,I did have the nicest pair of real ones they'd seen all evening.

Asia was definitly the best of the strippers there (a poor lot really, none of them danced at all, they just got naked and got guys to throw loonies at jugs in front of their crotches, I wouldn't recommend the place to anyone who's just going for the show). She was having a lot of fun up there so I arranged for the lapdance to be with her. But you don't get lapdances on the floor, only in the VIP rooms and each person who goes in has to pay $30, so only Adam and I went. It was worth it. Hoo boy was it ever. She was a total pro and very sweet. And when you're a girl they touch you a whole lot more. A whole lot more. Whew, I'm gettin' all steamy just thinking about it. She smelled amazing.

So Vixen, do you have the nuns praying for my salvation yet? Cuz I think they might need to get on that :)

I was sitting on the bus at an ungodly hour this morning praying for the sticker hickies from the holtor monitor to go down (they look like ring worm) when the most stereotypical loser started talking to his friend behind me. Such insipid and poorly phrased conversation I have never heard - "I fuckin' tol' he fuckin' better get some fuckin' back cuz fuckin' I kill him fuckin'" - was actually a phrase from the conversation. Being the optimist that I am, I really didn't think they made people this dumb.

That said, I hope everyone is reduced to this state by my luscious margharitas this Saturday. Party starts at 8pm and then we will head to the strip club at around 10:30-11. It will be an early one out as I don't want to be too disruptive to my neighbours. BYOT, everything else shall be provided by your host. And blog-readers please inform the non-blog readers.

Woo Hoo! Here comes 27!

Okay, am rather busy and hooked up to a stinkin' Holter monitor but I thought this was quite interesting. Apparently funding for closed captioning in America has gone way down and it has been decided that the deaf can only have access to puritan, non-fantasy, non-occult shows. Check out more info at Neil Gaiman's jounal site NeilI'm rather outraged about this.
As well, I would like to congratulate the mayor of San Francisco on his massive cojones. The marriages may be declared illegal, the city might get into a lot of trouble etc but I commend the man for doing something daring in politics. Plus, it is making so many people happy! I have long stated that since Trudeau, Canada has had completely ball-less politicians and it's nice to see someone taking a stand for his beliefs Do I enjoy the balsy moves simply because I agree with his beliefs. In part yes, but I also commend politicians for their balls even when I wholeheartedly disagree with their beliefs, I just don't commend other people when they vote for them.

As usual, life leads me down a path with a series of clues and indicators. I always notice, as have many people I'm sure, that I'll hear about some obscure fact/event and then suddenly everyone I meet is telling me more about that same thing. Recently it's been happening with info on schizophrenia (telling me to get more involved in my uncle's life methinks), and with queer theory and rights, and now with the death of Canadian Anna Mae Pictou-Aquash which occured almost 30 years ago.
I went to see a play at the Fringe this summer called The Making of Warriors by Sharon Pollock (one of my favourite playwrights) and it told the story of Anna Mae's death. Now her "murderer" is on trial and I'd like you all to please check out the information at Graham a site which has devoted itself to the "murderer's" defense. Checking out the Position Statement is your best bet for quick info. Two ladies just happened to come into Le Gare, all the way from Vancouver, to put up a poster about this very issue, and one of them was shocked that people were smoking indoors and we got to chatting about why they were putting up posters.
The story surrounding Anna Mae's death should really have people investigating the FBI for her murder, but instead they are investigating a fellow Native canadian who was fighting alongside her for Native rights. It's a long story and you can check it out at that website but I'll give you a few interesting tidbits. The same FBI agents who interrogated her for the murder of two other FBI agents were at the scene when her dead body was found and yet failed to recognize her so what did they do? They chopped off her hands and sent them to headquarters to have her identified. They then buried her in an unmarked grave after an FBI autopsy which said she died of exposure and somehow failed to note the rather large bullet hole in the back of her head.
The FBI has provided false evidence for the arrest of John Graham (this fact is supported by Amnesty International and they are opposed to allowing this trial to continue as is) and the facts surrounding his arrest etc are not so good.
Please check out the site and, if you feel so inclined, write a letter.

Yesterday may have possibly been the best Valentine's day ever. I have had poor luck on this date for the most part and so have mostly come to dread it. I thought nothing would ever top my dad renting me When Harry Met Sally and giving me a single rose and a bucket o' Hagendaas Coffee ice cream. I think yesterday might have done it.
Pickle and I went to West Edmonton Mall and did the whole water park scene - the slides, the wedgies etc. May I say I'm exhausted from climbing all those damn stairs. We then did the 30 metre bungee jump. I have never been so scared in my life and I highly recommend it. Truthfully I wasn't all that scared until I had to walk the plank, at which point a very confusing argument between the logical and instinctual parts of my brain occured in which I was saying "no" aloud and yet my body kept walking forward.The cute extreme boy counted down, and off I went. Free fall is indeed a terrifyingly good concept.
I then went for the tongue peircing. Ritualistics/ is so good I can hardly believe it. There was literally no pain involved in the actual peircing and, having followed their instructions to the letter, I have a barely swollen tongue and very minimal discomfort. And the day after is supposed to be the worst. I love my tongue ring and it loves me.
At Ritualistics, one of the less amusing goth boys I met at the party was working and he invited us over to the very amusing goths house to watch Mystery Men and play with their rats. A fine time was had.
And then of course, there was the sex...
So yes, Pickle is now the winner of the Best V Day contest. I'm quite pleased.

Went to see Triplettes de Belleville last night and it totally rocked. Call me arty, but I really liked this dialogue-less cartoon. Some of the most touching scenes I've witness in film/theatre. I'm getting misty just thinking about it. But I have become the biggest 5' tall wimp in the world, so perhaps none of you will cry quite so hard (nobody else in the theatre was so...) But it was good stuff, go see this movie.
School has gotten ridiculously busy again and I find I'm having to write about 50 pages worth of stuff to hand in after reading week. Yeesh, so reading week is actually for reading? Who knew? I spent the last one I had leaning over either a bar or a toilet with Corr. Oh how life has changed.
Speaking of change, I am excited about getting a ride in Kanga's new car. If I'm not financially capable of living in style, I'm at least smart enough to find a few friends who are :)
Okay, I should get going or my wee Korean student is going to be wondering where I am this fine morn. I leave you all with the expectation that the minutes you would have spent reading my usually much longer blog entry will now be spent daydreaming about pretty things.

As the piercing of the tongue approaches, I'm finding myself a little impatient. Don't ask me why, at 27 I've gotten a hankering for a needle through the tongue, but I have.
Actually you can ask me why, and Kanga doesn't have to read any longer as I just explained this to her a few days ago. I always thought tattoos and piercings were rituals and so I wanted them, but at the same time never really had a ritual-worthy occasion. Yes, I occassionally do crazy, momentous things but that's just me - being myself is a wonderful thing but if I performed a ritual tat everytime I was myself well...I'd be covered by now and it would get a little tedious.
Getting good grades for the first time in my life is not me. Getting over 92% in all my classes has never happened, least of all when I'm pressured and studying shit I've never studied before in my life. This occassion deserves a comemorative tongue stud.
Also, I have seen the terrible ideal of the "grad student" presented before me and it's not an ideal I want to achieve. I want to remain myself and challenge the amount of personality allowed to be expressed in the workplace (not that I want profs coming in and whining about their divorce but I do think that we should all be allowed to, at the very least, physically express who we are). I wanted a reminder every time I looked in the mirror to keep on truckin' and doing shit no matter at what age or what my job might be. I hope to god the ritual reminders I perform do not become merely reminders of someone I used to be, but reminders telling me to continue being who I want to be.
Ah fuck it, you all know I'm getting this tongue ring because I live to give good head. Why do I even bother trying to be deep?

Another very social weekend was had and I gotta say, I'm getting too old for this shit. And I don't even drink!
Spent Friday watching my Platinum Circle of boys from uni drink about 8 pitchers at Remedy. All but one held their liquor quite nicely. Pickle came for a bit too. I know this sounds weird but I still can't get over that. The last boyfriend really wasn't a social boy and didn't let me out of the house, let alone come out with my friends so I still find it slightly weird that I can be at a cafe and call Pickle and casually ask him to come out and he does! I'm so easily impressed.
The day also made me realise exactly how much I hate smoke. I know I should be used to it, being Euro-trash and all, and I realise that people should be allowed their freedoms, but now that I don't spend much time in smoky environments, it really kills me when I sit in one for 4 hours. This is part one of the "I'm getting too old for this" bit.
I spent Saturday night floating topless on a birthday boy's lap in a hot tub while feeding him alcohol laden peaches and having my hair played with by a cute topless goth chick in a pvc g-string. I am not getting too old for that :). Met many people (amazing how popular one becomes when one is topless) and saw much desperate behaviour on the part of very sweet men who really need to get laid more often. I hope their efforts paid off at some point. I also met some really cool goths who were very nice to me. One of them even gave me his card and we had some fabulous conversation throughout the party. Lesson for the evening: male goths should never wear bathing suits, it just ruins their image.
So what was I too old for at this party? We got home at 3:40a.m. and even though I've now had 8 hours sleep, I still feel like I've been run over by a truck.
To Vixen: your coming to my bday party dammit. I'll pay for the cab, I'll roll out the carpet, I'll have a drink waiting for you when you get here.

As you all may have been able to tell, I've been a might indecisive lately.
The sexparty: if the boys are good scratching themselves then all is well with having a girl's night. If not, then I'm going to wait until my birthday party, see how comfy everyone of the mixed groups feels and if people bond quickly we'll go from there. This planning a month before the party is a little ridiculous.
Now, on to other topics before my brain explodes.
Hmm, does roo have anything else to talk about besides sex? Good question.
I'm presenting a paper of mine at a symposium, about which I'm fairly nervous. How do I get myself into these things? And my supervisor (also head of the department), though the most sexually uptight person I've ever met, somehow thinks I'm the most amazing thing going:
"Tania you are wonderful, what would we do without you? I've mentioned you and all you're doing for the department at the last several AC meetings"
And this sort of sham I'm pulling over her eyes is why no one at the university will ever know about this blog. :)
So apparently I can do more serious, academic, career stuff but fuck, who wants to hear about that?

Whew, okay I've had enough love and support. Guess I can put a new blog up :)
A very big thank you first off to U of A hospital and their "best in the country" heart facility. I would highly recommend it. They have nice people and access to testing I've never seen before. Plus, because it's a research facility, they ask a ton of questions that other doctors had never asked. Good dialogue and listening is always important.
And secondly, party stuff, as always is complicated. With the bday party, I am going to change it to Saturday Feb 21. Sorry for the change, but I think I'm giving enough notice. That way my dad can meet my new pals and Pickle can be there and perhaps Kanga will have time to get someone to take Spud. Though actually, I was really looking forward to having the wee guy there. Is there any way he could make an appearance early on and Max could pick him up later from my place? Oh and Kanga, it's going to be a busy one today so I might as well ask on the blog: could you bring my grey sports bra to belly dancing with you tonight?
The sex party. Asylus, I heard your voice (though since you don't usually read my blog, you didn't show any love about the heart thing, and I'm putting in work to answer your protest even though you won't read it and someone will have to relate it to you, I don't know if I should let your voice be heard :). To answer your question/request: there will not be any female substitutes there. While porn is an industry largely for men, sex toys are an industry largely for women. These parties were developed as "women-only" originally and they don't seem to have changed their tactics/products since they started letting men in (last year). They are about women celebrating their own sexuality, which I think is fabulous. Please don't think that means I don't want men to be included. Men should celebrate women's sexuality too! And I am very pleased that most of my male friends are totally into this celebration.
I hesitated to invite boys because there wouldn't be anything for them, but also because I invited girls from outside the harem. While girls who don't know eachother can get quite comfie talking about their kinks quite easily, they don't tend to do so quite so easily when strange boys are around. Since this is all about getting women to be comfie and have fun with their sexuality, I didn't want to do anything to put that at risk. However, it is quite possible that none of these Non-Harem girls will say yes and if this is the case then the harem boys can come. How does that sound? Who wants to volunteer to read this out to Asylus?
It's great that each sex has their own ways of getting into their sexuality, but still, would anyone want to start up a sex company with me that's actually for couples? It's amazing to me that this really hasn't started happening yet.

Well folks, what the doctor reading out of his czech-english dictionary told me close to 2 years ago was correct "You not die"
Or rather, I not die. After a series of tests and 5 hours in the hospital today the doctors have finally assured me that my heart condition is not lethal. The chest pains I'm having are not a result of heart trouble, but more likely of some sort of pectoral muscle tension. The massive and constant irregular heartbeats are more of a concern and that will be dealt with after my Holter monitor. However, the doctor also assures me that these palpitations are not lethal and though they may cause discomfort, and on occasion fainting, they will not cause a heartattack or any heart malfunctions.
Basically, he freed me and he knew he was freeing me. He told me that I could go out and do whatever I wanted now (aside from stimulants of any kind, so the hypoglymic diet still holds) and know that whatever discomfort I was having wouldn't ever lead to anything nasty. I can't tell you how much of a release this is for me. When all these doctors have been unsure and some of them have thought I was close to death etc, it made me feel like every pain was going to be my last. This guy just said, "okay girl, you're fine so just tough it out!" Tough I can do.
If further tests show too much of an irregularity, which he believes they will (they always do), he might put me on betablockers, but I've been on those before and they're no biggie.
I'm free as a bird people, watch me soar.

After a week and a half of -35 to -45 degree weather, I can say without a trace of irony that it was a balmy -24 today.
Okay, let's see, my parties.
My 27th bday is coming up and I'm unsure as to what day to celebrate it on. My father dearest is coming up on Sat 21, and so if I choose to have the party on the official Margharita day (Sun 22), we will all have to deal with my lovable dad. Not such a bad thing, but Margharita day is also a Sunday which is not so good either. My thought is for me to throw around my awesome power and get Margharita day changed to the 20th and have everyone over on Friday evening. I will buy the raspberries, strawberries, bananas and mangoes (mango margharitas are to die for, mango-strawberry margharitas are to kill for) and blender up some good shtuff. We will then head out to the nearest strip club so I can get my lap dance. I kid you not. Who will bring some tequila? Is that Ruby and Vixen I hear? :)
The sexware party: Should be on March 13th at 7:30pm. I'm going to be a sexist pig and declare this an official girl's night. However, I will listen to debate on this and if enough people of both sexes object then I see no reason why men shouldn't be allowed. It's just...I've noticed most of you men really don't like being in a room full of drunk girls talking very liberally about sex whilst passing vibrating male-substitutes around. So why don't you spare yourselves the trouble and just go and have a nice little scotch night? ;)

Phew, I'm pooped. I had a very social Friday - a lunch date, 2 dinner dates, and a lovely visit to the Alberta Sex Fair.
Okay, I was a little disappointed in the shows at the Alberta Sex Fair, it just didn't compare to the live sex shows and porn stars of the Erotic Fairs in Prague. As Kanga mentioned, this is Alberta what was I expecting?
However, the products for sale were of much higher quality than those of Europe and I almost blew my small wad (of cash) in there. I restrained myself quite nicely, but only because I arranged with one of the ladies in the booths to host a sexware party at my flat in March. There will be more buying of goodies, I can just tell. It also reminded me to tell you all about Coochy shaving cream for well...your coochy. It's an excellent product.
They had some a nice selection of silicon products (as I mentioned in the Guide to Anal Sex blog, silicon is important for sex play cuz you can boil it, and as we all discovered at the fair it smells way better than latex), and some really cheap vibes. They even had the cordless remote control vibes going for $40 bucks! One particular distibutor impressed me Caresse Body Care Products. So next time you're in a sex shop, look for that name.
I got matching "it ain't going to suck itself" and "it ain't going to lick itself" t-shirts for Pickle and myself. A momentous purchase was made by one of our troup, the thought still gets me all misty eyed. Then I did some fun trading around of purchases with Kanga, which at this point I'm not regretting in the least. Having sex with boys with vibes in their bums...it's a good thing.