Okay, I'd like to comment on the ridiculous weather. Yesterday it got up to 20C here in Edmonton and, while I didn't expect that to last for long, during the night winds gusted up and it is now -6C (not so cold, but quite a switch from 20C) and snowing like mad. A few flurries my ass. It does look quite lovely though, the flakes are all big and fluffy.
I'm a gal who likes change, but doesn't like the in betweens - this snow just means that by the end of today a melt will have occured and the streets will yet again be mucky with snow/pollution goo. Mmm...goo...

Well, a confession must be made, I have a sewing machine. I saw one on sale and bought it because I knew that if I had to go over to Kanga's house every time I wanted to sew I would never get anything done - I'm just too lazy to leave the house sometimes. Weird but true. Anyways, amazingly the pants are done for my belly dancing outfit and everyone was very happy with them at rehearsal last night. Now I just have to somehow write 100 pages and make a slinky top in the next two weeks - no problem. I'm just going out to buy a bra and I'll sew the fabric over it - that sounds my easier than creating the shirt from nothing which is what I did for the pants and let me tell you, I developed a few facial ticks making those fuckers. But I watched LOTR 2 a million times in the process of making them, which was lovely. I still gotten over that phase that most 2 year olds grow out of where I like to watch things over and over and over and over again. Seen the first one probably around 20 times and the second one around 7 now. Yeah, I'm a loser.

Okay, I'm just blathering on for no reason now - well actually for the very good reason of not wanting to settle down to my papers.

Oh and by the way, during the course of writing this the snow has actually become just a few flurries. Yeesh.

Tired wee me. ICFA in Ft. Lauderdale was super fun and the conference, unlike many academic conferences, was not merely an excuse for competitive snarkiness. I hung with the marxists, they bought me drinks. I can't complain.

It was honestly superb and my mentor was so amazing, she knew everyone and she was just one of those women whom if I had to pick a word to describe her, it would be "cool." I met a ton of contacts, including a very famous Cuban fantasy writer who was very interested in my thesis. Everyone was just so supportive.

The days were long and filled with a lot of activity, the weather was not great but I did manage to get some pool time on Saturday. The whole conference taught me two things: you can't mingle and network without an alcoholic drink in your hand (I tried and it didn't work) which confirms my thoughts that society is kind of fucked that way - people cannot be social without the excuse of being half cut. I did not actually drink, just had the drink in my hand and it was amazing the difference it made. The second thing I learned was that when profs are out with grad students who are not from their universities, they are flirty, dirty pigs. Not one to be offended by this sort of thing, I got on swimmingly. Good thing I brought my bikini ;)

Actually, I met this great woman who has agreed to help me with my research and she and I had many long conversations and I was getting the dirtiest looks from her partner, who was the dominant gal in the relationship. Oops.

Anyhoo, the whole experience just confirmed for me why I went into fantasy, the people were not the typical academics as we are all interested in something the "real" academics are trying to keep out of the universities. We are on the sidelines constantly trying to gain bits of space here and there and it was so great to be with a bunch of like minded people rather than being the only one in my department studying this kind of thing.

Oh and my roommate was hot, a true deserver of the name "Helen"

Well, you're looking at the new GSA VP Communications. After a four hour meeting I'm finally home feeling exhausted and frankly, a little ill. I think masochism is a quality deep within all those who get involved in academic politics. It's going to be a ton of work and abuse for very little pay, but I'm actually quite excited about it.

It was 66 votes for me and 12 for my competitor. I blew him out of the water. Actually, he was quite good and I'm surprised he didn't get more support. My speech was good, I died during question period and I have pit stains on my dress shirt.

I'm going to go get some water and go to bed. Thank you all for your support and the toothpaste was for my pimples - according to fashion guru Chelsea, creamy toothpaste is the best thing for them. It did reduce the swelling a bit, thanks Chel.

Thanks to Chelsea, I've got toothpaste on my forehead right now. I've got to do something about the mother fucker on the right side as I do my campaign speech for the electorate tonight. Either the toothpaste workds or it will be another hat day.

Kanga would like me to come out of hibernation. Roo would like to come out of hibernation, but it doesn't look like it's going to happen any time soon. Ft. Lauderdale is Wednesday and I get back on Sunday. However, I just found out that Pickle's mom is coming down to stay with us next weekend (to see his play at the Walterdale which opens this week and everyone must go see. He is Christian in Cyrano de Bergerac - one of the leads Woo Hoo!) so I will be heading out to coffee shops to do my papers. If people care to distract me at said coffee shops for short stints, I would not be opposed. In fact, I would be quite grateful.

As well, I was going to change the sex party, but I don't think I will. It will remain April 3, I'm just going to ask her to host it a wee bit later so that Mom-in-law will be at the Cyrano while we look at sex toys. I was going to go see closing night of Cyrano, but 1. I don't have the cash and 2. It's pretty pointless as Pickle will be going right to the cast party afterwards and doesn't need to deal with girlfriends and such. Time would be better spent amongst ladies, looking at toys and giving backrubs ;)

Well, the complemented boy has taken the complement (some pleasant emailing resolved everything) and there are still a few waves passing through the ol' tum, but the churning storm has passed.

Today I will get a lot of work done. I have no choice therefore procrastination cannot loom its ugly head. Well...maybe just a little.

After all my work on body image and self-confidence I have been reduced to a quivering mass of insecurity by a pimple. Several large and painful pimples actually. I have to laugh at myself - no man, woman, magazine can make me feel bad about my appearance, but some red marks on my forehead and I refuse to leave the house.

Probably a good thing really, since I need to get shit done. Still, I've obviously got some acne issues left over from high school. Remind me to deal with this when I have more time on my hands. Spain seems like the perfect place to mull over old zit trauma...

Picture this.
I'm up until 5:30am yesterday feeling sick to my stomach (a feeling that continues to this moment) and then I get up at 8:00am and go to take a shower. As I am a girl very much used to 8 hours sleep (no coffee remember) I really am not doing too well on 2 1/2 hours. I'm in the shower and the shampooing occurs successfully. Then I put conditioner on and the water becomes suddenly frigid as ice - no warning. I can hear the swearing of the tenant showering beneath me in his apartment so I know the hot water has again disappeared in this goddamn building. Needless to say, I don't do a good job rinsing the conditioner out and decide it is a hat wearing day. The rest of the day was filled with me having to do very social committees and shit (had to do a Career Fair booth at a High School Career Day in the morning- which was a lot of fun actually) with a greasy head and a churning stomach. I didn't get home until 10:00pm.

In my exhaustion, I made the mistake of telling a friend of mine I thought he was attractive. He's a nice guy and is going through some domestic problems with his girl and they will probably be ending it and he isn't as young as he used to be etc etc. He is extremely insecure as is, so I thought I'd mention I thought he was cute (which he is) as I feel it's never a bad thing to let a friend know you find them attractive. In an alert state, I would have known better with this particular bloke. He had no idea how to react and I think perhaps thought I was trying to get in his pants rather than give him a compliment. Trust me though, in no way did I make it seem like a come on - we were with a bunch of the guys, I was saying it to all of them - "don't you think D is cute?" etc.

And yet, much blushing ensued on his part, and not because he wants to get in my pants, but because ...well because I made him feel uncomfortable. Some people really can't take a compliment and I should have known this would make him feel weird. Oops. Once I stop feeling like my stomach is going to lurch from throat, I'll have to do something to resolve this situation, but right now I'd probably just get careless and say something even more stupid. Any advice for me Grasshopper, as you and I have been in a somewhat similar situation?

I would like to say thank you to Turbo for the lovely evening spent watching her shake what her momma gave her (as K.Lo would say). Despite the absence of Turbo in a coconut bra, I still felt I got my money's worth ;)She is truly a talented dancer, it was awe inspiring that perhaps one day I too will be able to shake it like that. Plus, was extremely impressed by the rhythm keeping - I'm doing a dance with zils and it feels impossible and what you were doing on Saturday seemed infinetely more difficult.

Aside from this, the news I have is to go download a video Grasshopper recommended to me. It's a blast from the past on a blog of an old sex-ed video for girls. What a hoot. Go see the opening between her legs

Everyone go check out this new blog. Don't know the guy, but really like his stuff.

Ah well, one person blogged for me so I'm happy. Actually, Kanga always blogs so I am quite happy with her blog performance. Others have disappointed me - you know who you are (picture my seething gaze penetrating into the computer screen)

Okay, so I don't do seething all that well. I suppose it's not really all about me, nor would I want it to be. Way too much responsibility and I do not need more of that right now. I'll leave it to the pros :)

I am super excited about Kanga's solo performance and in fact I may have a slightly larger role than most in my own performance (still waiting to hear) so we are both divas, though as always Kanga's divaness supercedes my own :) There won't be many people in my dances either, which suits me just fine. Though I completely understand how a new dancer would be shaking in her leather boots - if someone had given me an entire solo performance in my first class I would have started throwing up on the spot. You shall prevail dear and I shall hold the bucket should the need arise. It will be one of the biggest highs you've ever gotten.

Okay that's it I hate to pull a Kanga/Asylus but it's all about me here and I insist that everyone start blogging more and earlier. Don't you realize that early morning is the only computer time I have to lounge around in webspace and that I'm being forced to read newspapers and shit because you people are not blogging enough? Oh, the inhumanity!

Hee hee, sorry just thought that was a funny thing to rant about. Since I'm all about ranting these days and I didn't really have the energy to rant about something real I figured this would be okay.

I'm so looking forward to the cocunut extravaganza on Saturday. And Turbo,regarding your comment that you might actually look better than the boy that night ...okay hold on need to look around the webspace, I don't think Asylus reads this and I hope Eclectic won't be too offended but... I think you always (oh god, can I say this?) looks as good or better than the boy. And well...he has no cleavage so the whole coconut bra thing just doesn't hold the same appeal. Though I haven't seen the new haircut, so perhaps I will stand corrected ;)

Just a quickie, the new sex party is scheduled for April 3. It's the only weekend the lady and I were both free and the parties take about 2 hours.

You know you're tired when you start mixing up all your internet passwords and then can't figure out why the fuck they won't let you into your blog site :)

Swearing did occur but, bright girl that I am, I noticed my brain glitch just in time to save my laptop from going out the window.

Have we noticed a certain violent tendency in my recent blogs? Yes we have.

But honestly folks, I'm bearing up okay. I'm apparently headed to Ft.Lauderdale for a fantasy convention March 24-27 which is costing me an arm and a leg (thank god for student loans) but I believe will be worth it. I'm getting a "fantasy mentor" there (not as good as it sounds hehehe) who will give me reading lists and introduce me to people I should know.

Applications for more money and for research positions are still flying all over the appartment. I've calmed down a bit about them though. I've also now got competition for VP Communications so I'm preparing my big speech for the Election Night on March 22. There's a reminder on a specific low-cut top telling me to wear it that night. Never hurts.

I'm also presenting at a grad student symposium in April, yikes! I'm so not prepared. Kanga, you may well be receiving emails asking you to go over papers as I'm sending a few out for publication in the next bit. You know, cuz you have all that extra time (read sarcasm here please)

Okay, enough about my work-related exploits, it's time to actually work. I hope everyone out there is having rose coloured days.

You'll all have to excuse me these days as I'm feeling particularly antisocial. Not because I'm in a bad mood or hate people or anything, it's more a "spend more time alone with myself" kind of deal. For this reason I believe I have missed Ruby's play (unless it's on Sunday as well in which case I'll go)
However, I just had to cite this from Eve Sedgewick's work cuz it totally cracked me up. She's talking about Dickens' Our Mutual Friend here. She's a very well respected academic critic talking about homosocial desire in a very serious fashion.
"And those golden dust heaps are the emblem of a wholly abstracted anality: they do not refer us to any individual or sentient anus."
Sentient anus ahahahahah! I'll be laughing for days.

I'd like to just rant a little about my supervisor. I'm going to speak for all her MA students as we've been ranting together often about this. She's the kind of woman who takes on too much and refuses to admit she can't handle it. She'll just keep taking shit on and disappointing people. She is otherwise an excellent person.
It's getting a little frustrating for me as it has taken 2 weeks just to arrange a meeting with her (and this is the only meeting I've had with her this year). And in fact it was supposed to occur last week but she FORGOT - leaving me waiting outside her office and she never showed. She has forgotten meetings with two other of her MA students, and though I keep giving her my schedule, she keeps trying to book the meetings at times when I've specifically said I can't make it.
Today, I'm missing a Bowering talk that was specifically for CompLit grads because today at 9:00am she emails me "Am changing our meeting to 11:00am see you then" when our meeting was supposed to be at 10:00. And since there are important things I need to dicuss with her, and I know it will take another fucking two weeks to get a new meeting, I'll sacrifice a little poetry, but we spent all this weekend emailing in order to see if we could schedule a time that would allow me to go to the fucking poetry reading, and then at the last minute she changes it so I can't go! This is ridiculous.
Does this sound like a person I can trust? Not really. Am I pmsing? Yes.

I cannot handle paper when I'm stressed out. I realized this about myself last term and it's actually quite amusing. I get paper cuts everywhere, places on my body that paper should never have come into contact with now have paper cuts on them. All this term I've been taking a slightly more relaxed attitude and have had no paper-related incidents but now the paper is taking is vengeance.
Yup, that's it. I have nothin'.

Woo Hoo! Pickle had some great news yesterday, he got accepted by the Atlantic Acting School for their summer workshop in New York! It sounds amazing and I'm so gosh darned impressed with that boy!
Even Katy is excited for him as she's been tearing around the apartment like a bat of out hell - quite amusing in the pink cast and all.
I'll try to keep writing on a regular basis, but I'm filling out applications for academic jobs and grants and nothing puts me in a fouler mood then trying to make myself look less shitty on paper. Goddamn why do all scholarships want all the transcripts you've ever had? Why can't they just want to see your MA grades? It's been years since I went for my BA, can they not accept that I've changed? Yeesh, you spend one year being an alcoholic and everyone judges you for it for the rest of your life :)