How exactly can an experience be both amicable and the most painful thing that's ever happened to me? I had to make the hardest phone call of my life yesterday and break up with Pickle. How am I doing? Not well. Will I manage? Most likely. It's not what I wanted, but I'm a firm believer in "if you love someone, set them free." At least, that's what I keep telling myself.

Nuff said about that.

I got free tickets to a concert last night for a group called Besh o Drom. Had no idea what they were about, but turned out to be gypsy wedding music so I got to belly dance the night away, which was exactly what I needed. They were so fantastic, it reaffirmed my belief in a higher power that knows you can only take so much without having a little joy introduced into your life.

The rest of the weekend was pretty damn good too. Party on Friday, Turbo jiggling on Sat followed by an all-nighter birthday party at which I met a nice boy - however now that the pickle thing is actually over I don't think I'm ready to see people quite yet - still carrying around a box of kleenex so I don't think that makes me prime dating material. Still, something to think about for later...

I'm going to try and actually get some stuff done today. I'm going to re-start the Fu again tonight, so I'm hoping the painful muscles will be a distraction in the days to come.

Well, it's been blogged now so it must be official. Wish me luck.

The alarm went off and sleep slowly left me, I felt cat in my arms in front of me and parted my eye-lids to start the day and the first thing I see is my cat's big ol' brown eye right in my face. Even after all the drugs, alcohol, and weird encounters, and even after waking up in hallways, fields, and mice/cockroach infested rooms, I can truly say that this is the most disturbing way to wake up.

*Shudder*

Moving right along, yesterday I went to dinner at Yianni's after belly dancing to watch one of the pros do a set there and hang out with some girls. It was the last class before Sept, and I know I'll start jonesing for the shimmy fairly soon. However I do perform twice next week (the Canada day parade and a restaurant gig) so I should be okay for the next couple of weeks. I plan to start the Fu again on Monday to make up for the belly shaking so expect to hear many complaints about how I cannot move due to sore muscles and bruised wrists. Whinging is my life.

This weekend is literally packed with social activities so I hopefully I should have much to recount that isn't a: boring as hell and b: having to do with my cat's anus.

Cat status: better. I think she appreciated that though I'd had a long day and it was late, I still played with her for half an hour when I got home. We went to bed in a happy state of cuddliness.

Bingo was not as bad as I thought it would be, though my feet are aching from walking the bingo parlour selling different brands of bingo tickets for 5 hours. No one told me proper shoe attire was required. The people I was volunteering with were pretty great, we had a really good time and apparently only three of us managed to cash out with no imbalance (ah, the years of retail paying off). Other than the lady with the pictures of her grandkids all over, no one really creeped me out. Who am I to judge really, we all have our weird obsessions - I mean I've watched LOTR 1 and 2 over 40 times each. And I played d&d continuously for close to six years. And Magic the Gathering. I started to get into being a comic book geek but couldn't afford it. Damn constant lack of money, look at what it has prevented me from achieving!

Hmm, I never thought I'd watch any movie more than I watched The Goonies but apparently I was wrong. Funny how all three movies that I'm obsessed with star Sean Astin.

Okay, how 'bout I stop talking about what an obsessive geek I am? Yeah.

My grace period with the cat is over. For the first while after Pickle left, I spent much time with her and she seemed to be dealing fairly well. This morning I have been treated to about an hour of yowling as she wanders around the apartment looking for her dad. It happens every time he goes away, and I think it's cute and loyal of her for the first while and then I start wanting to cut her vocal chords. So far, I've managed to refrain from violence.

Tonight, I'm off to volunteer for 6 hours at a bingo hall for the radio station. I can't tell you how much I'm dreading this - bingo players creep me out anyway but it's the smoking that really kills me. Hope everyone else has a better night planned.

This weekend was an interesting one. Pickle left on Saturday, which I think I handled okay. I will miss telling him the little stories of my day. And the sex. I know he's going to rock New York's world.

I then went to the radio orientation thing. Some of the people there who wanted to volunteer and get their own shows made me rethink my ideals that everyone has their own je ne sais quoi. One gal there looked as though she'd never had a coherent thought in her life. She just kept asking when the party was starting - I suppose independent radio gets its share of odd folk. It was just a tad annoying as the meeting dragged on a little longer than planned in order to repeatedly tell her that no one at the meeting could answer her question.

I then somehow managed to triple book myself for Saturday evening - I'm really not that popular. There was another naked hot tub party, which I declined as I really wasn't in the mood with Pickle just having left and all. As well, there was a belly dancing gala, but I opted out of that too because I just didn't want to go by myself. So I chose to go to my friend's wife's gallery opening. It's called the Banyan Tree and deals specifically in high end East Indian art, jewelry, and textiles. They've done a beautiful job with it, though I couldn't afford to even look at the paintings. They have installed a suspended couch with plush pillows which we all had a go on - very meditative, especially when one has consumed the proper amount of wine.

Sunday was a "me" day. I can honestly say it was the first time that I have truly sat down and refused to do any work in Edmonton. I was going to get out a bunch of sappy tear jerkers from the video store but realized that I am too cheap to spend money on crappy movies. The closest I came was renting a Sex in the City dvd. I watched LOTR 1 and 2 for the billionth time, The Triplets of Belleville (cried even harder than the first time), and the Matrix.

As much as I will miss Pickle, it's nice to have the place to myself for awhile - I'm sure in a few days I'll be miserable, but for now I'm content to do the dishes when I want to and have the space to breath. That's not to say I haven't been misty eyed - I was quite ashamed to have to dab at my eyes when I noticed that the dude giving the radio orientation was wearing the same kind of shoes as Pickle does.
Yeesh.

Happy Father's Day!

Long have I been of the opinion that I have the best pop in the world. Well, there were a few years there between 13 and 16 that I thought he was the devil incarnate, but then I thought the same of all authority figures at that time.

Recently, I have been reminded of his greatness. There was an article a while back in the G&M that was all proud because Canadian fathers spent more time with their kids then any other fathers in Western countries - a whole 1.2 hours a day. This shocked me - we're proud of this? I don't know, I realize that some dads have to work weird or many hours in order to support a family and don't want to judge this, but my dad held down a job and as soon as he came home from work he spent all evening with me. We'd eat dinner then go for a walk or bike ride, then play, then we'd go to bed early so I could get extra time of him reading whatever story we were on. He still tries to read me bedtime stories - I often think that my insomnia started at the same time that I got too cool for bedtime readings.

Then every Saturday and Sunday we would either swim (though neither of us knows how to swim) or ice skate and then come home and read a play together. I always had a blast doing this, and it's probably why I still prefer to read all fictional work aloud (the coffee shops around here are now quite used to me coming in with a book and whispering to myself). We'd pick out the characters we wanted to be and then start reading and inevitably dad would fall asleep while reading - he has this kind of freaky ability of being able to talk coherently while he's sleeping and so he would still start talking everytime I finished reading my part, but he was very obviously not reading the text. We'd be reading Shakespeare and I'd read and then dad would come out with "Chickens are the most interesting animals" - many's the time when I wouldn't wake him up just to see what odd turns the plot would take under his unconscious direction.

He has also been really supportive of all my flaky decisions. Mom has been the support gal, but he follows along pretty well considering he's the one who always had to pay my rent when I had quit yet another job on the grounds that it "soul killing." I mean, the other day I mentioned that I admire my own ability to never keep doing something I don't want to do, but much of that comes from the support, both financially and emotionally, that my parents have always given me. Having spoken to a few people recently whose parents have preconceived notions about what should make their children happy and refuse to support any other notions, I am quite appreciative of daddy-o.

Anyhoo, enough sappiness. Must actually remember to go call my dad and tell him all this.

Just a quick one to say that if you have become addicts of The Office, there were two final episodes made that are not on the dvd sets but were aired. They can be downloaded through Kazaa, they're under The Office - Christmas 01 and 02.

Other than that, life is fairly boring for the moment. I'm hoping a little sunshine will get me out and about again. Just gearing up for Pickle leaving for New York and planning what I'm going to do with all the space I'll have once his mountain o' clothes is gone.

Well, the sun has somehow come out upon my writing that last paragraph - I believe it's fate.

As you might imagine, my sorrow over the Flames has been long and melodramatic. I believe I have now recovered sufficiently, though I felt extremely superficial about it all having read Vixen's last blog. Life can be full of so much sadness, my thoughts are with you hon.

Let's see, what to report. Spent last weekend in Calgary. Had a lovely time at Gay Pride there on Sunday and was impressed to see how many people showed up even though it was absolutely pissing rain. However, the drag queens still looked fabulous on their floats as they passed down the street for the parade. Went to Boystown on the Saturday and Pickle was quite upset that he didn't get hit on - is he losing his gayappeal?

Am finally getting things running on the radio show for the GSA. A short 10 minute show should start in July and then we'll see how it goes for Sept. As it is, doing all the shit for a 10min show is going to be about 3 hours a week of prep work so we'll see how much time I've got come Sept.

Some good news is that I'll have a part time RA this Sept, which will bring in some more money. I'll be set once that happens, but still have no way of saving money for tuition this summer. I shall not lose faith - money will fall from the sky, I'm just sure of it. The fairies have yet to disappoint me in that regard.

Ooh, and sex with yet another girl was had and though it hardly compares to my "first"
(the real first was a pretty underage thing so I won't go into it in case I get sued or something) it was still a great deal of fun. I'm all a tingle.

Soon I'll be having all girl threesomes on rooftops in Italy :)
Anyone who wants to guess which of my pals has done this can email me, but I shall refrain from naming any names.

How Stella got her groove back...again!
Gotta love Family Guy. I do have my groove back. Went to belly dancing last night where I was approached by some of the really good gals (higher levels than me) to join their troup! I am so excited I can't even tell you. It was making me a little sad as some of the girls in my Level 3 have a troup, but they've been taking lessons together and have been friends for ages and I was kinda disappointed that there was no one for me start one up with - it always made me think of Highness and K.Lo and how we would have a threesome going by now (in more ways then one ;) if we had all stayed with Rena. But now I've been invited into a fold and well...Yihaa!

As well, the Flames victory in OT last night was a beauty to behold. I stood, got misty eyed, hugged people and hissed at a Tampa Bay fan at E&C. I then proceeded to get quite drunk off two pints of Guiness and ended up out at O'Byrns watching really drunk people and being inspired to stick to H2O for the rest of the night. There was a girl passed out in the toilets who really didn't look well. The bouncers assured me they'd get her home safely. I should've pulled her top up and taken a pic of her for flamesgirls.com. Woe is me, hindsight really is 20/20.

Oh the joys of some rest and relaxation. I feel normal again, it's lovely.

I'm off to Calgary on Friday night and will be in the hot city for game 6. I think it might be good times, I was in Calgary the last time they won the cup and I would love to make it a tradition! I'm loving all these Flames banners flying from Edmonton cars.

Now it's time to start looking for another job, get the resume in order and see if I can't get some TESL work. Either that or it's back to phone sex, and though that makes use of my skills, it isn't really something that would further my future plans much. Hmmm, any ideas? And don't suggest waitressing because I don't have my foodsafe certificate. I suppose more tutoring signs must go up - maybe I'll put some up in the Engineering department, god knows they all need help (with writing, that is)

It's done! The stupid charity golf tournament I've been planning for a month is done!

It went over okay, not perfect, but what do you expect? I ain't no events coordinator and this was not in my job description. However, I think it went fairly well. There was no puncturing of heads with golf balls, so I count it a success! Plus I have a ton of golf tees for asylus now - you freaky golf monkey!
It was long though - I got up at 6:30am and got back just in time to see the end of the hockey game at 8:00pm. I'd say I'd post pictures, but we all know I never get my ass in gear about pics so I won't turn myself into a liar.
I also got to drive a beast around all day. Seats 8 people. I looked ridiculous, but it was fun to be queen of the road.

As I was driving, I caught a good little billboard ad for beer - it was a can of beer on it was the sentence "Colder then Jen when you called her Susan."

Went to see the Almost Leather Band and Painting Daisies last weekend and it absolutely blue my mind (small joke about the colour of my brain there, see Kanga's site). Such great tunes, good atmosphere, good non-smoky company!
Have downloaded a ton of PD music from their blog. If you like blues, it's good stuff. ALB will have a site with music all too soon I'm sure.

Okay, must go do some more relaxing. I need to see an optometrist, I've been wearing monthly contact lenses for 6 months now and they are really starting to get gungy - I'm sure my eyes used to be brown but now they look all scaly, should I be concerned? :)