11.25.2003

Had a conversation with Kanga yesterday about stories which I incorporated in some thoughts I'd been having on Queer and Postcolonial Theory. You see, I wasn't sure if I could appropriate the stories of others without offending people. This of course, is rather dumb because I am a deconstructionist at heart, and therefore believe that identity is not fixed but a fluid thing that can never be pinned down to say you're part of a specific "group" of people. So, in that sense I believe that all stories can be my stories.

However, when it comes to oppressed peoples it gets a little strange. Western society works on a power basis based on binary oppositions. You are either one or the other. The "other" has just recently been allowed an identity and they are using it to gain some much needed empowerment within this fucked up society. (I say Western because I'm not really sure how it works in Eastern places - I know there are power struggles there too but I'm not sure if they are based on the same system of binaries)

Which of course brought me to the gay/lesbian vs queer. Queer studies is a deconstructionist theory that says that as sexuality is part of identity, it is therefore as fluid, changeable and affected by many factors as identity. When you place yourself in one category, it is merely on a performative basis and really you are just encouraging this idea of being 'one' or the 'other.' This is a tough subject, as I believe that sexuality is a fluid thing, but in deconstructing that form of identity/identification it makes it hard for those who flow more towards the homosexual side of the spectrum to gain the equal place in (binary)society that they deserve.

It’s an odd thing to think about: I want this whole binary opposition of sexuality to dissolve. To do this, do we let people maintain their identity groups as a basis of power until the under privileged part of the binary opposition becomes equal? Or do we have to dissolve the binary system first as it is impossible to have equality within it? The same question could be asked of the cultural identities of oppressed groups in Postcolonial. As much as many complain that they do not fit it with the main group of Black Americans, can we really say that no "black american identity" exists without taking away their power within the binary system?

Postcolonial and Gay and Lesbian theories focus on “identity.” These groups finally have a strong community heading under which they fall and can fight from. I believe it is important for the disempowered to find some space from which they can gain some feeling of safety and equality in numbers. Can oppressed groups find a way to empower themselves if we deconstruct their fairly recently given identity? Can people in this society feel empowered without identity?

11.22.2003

Highness is nubile

Just thought I'd state the obvious. That girl has one of the finest bums this girl has ever seen.

Anyhoo, am writing way too much these days. God I hate quoting shit from French sources where you have to get all the little accents in. Wish I had a French programme on my laptop so I could just type naturally. Actually I hate documentation of secondary sources in all its forms. It takes me a whole day to add it to a paper. Especially a paper with over 40 secondary sources. Ach du lieber.

My Korean student Seung Roh told me the magnificent story of the first Korean:

There was once a bear and a tiger who wanted to become human. Bear asked god (not clear which one as S.Korea is predominantly Christian now) what she had to do to become human and god told her to stay in a cave for 100 days eating only garlic and green onions. Tiger asked god the same question and god gave him the same answer. Bear did as she was told and god made her human. Tiger had cheated and gone out of the cave before the 100 days were up so of course god left him as a tiger. However, god realised that there was a problem because now there was no male for the Bear (who was now human to mate) with. So god made his son human and gave him to Bear. The first child that was born of their union was the first Korean.

Man, why don't we have stories like that? I mean really, it seems that Christianity is our only myth/creation story. So I'm putting out a call - who feels creative this week? I want to a story telling me how the first Canadian was born. Either put it in the comments or email me at translationgirl@hotmail.com

11.18.2003

my bum is omnipresent

Okay, I know this is asylus' brilliant phrase, but I just loved it so much I had to head a blog with it.
Despite the fact that it's 10pm and I just got home from school after a 14 hour day, I'm feeling pleased as punch. Man, when I decide I'm feeling better about things, I really stick to it! It must have been the tremendous aide I got from such people as Kanga and Highness with their masturbatory and fecal cartoons. Thankfully, both of them have enough taste and class not to mix the two. God knows what would happen if I actually learned Photoshop...
Aren't we all suddenly very very grateful that the Wee Yin doesn't have a technological clue?

Looking forward to birthdays galore. Kanga please tell Ruben that it is Pickle's closing night and also his birthday on the 29th so we'll be there, but we'll be late. Everyone is getting so old! :)




11.15.2003

Happy Birthday Kim!

hoo boy i think november is the month for just stressing out. i've calmed down a bit but the atmosphere is tight, everyone i know is focusing on how much they need to do and how impossible it is to get done. it will all get done people, i know it. i have become the optimist again and so if there is need for happy sunshine you may look to me for it once again. i'm still quite stressed about all of my various committees, papers, backstabbing ox twats, relationships, etc but hey i'm also thinking "hey, i have committees, papers, relationships to worry about. that's so wonderful" i got into a university MA programme (despite not looking so good on paper), i'm managing to be the most competent first year MA out there, my papers are all on subjects which are fascinating to me.

anyhoo, i'm sure most would like to choke me right about now. for those of you who feel i'm a little too cheerful, please know i will be flipping out again sometime in the near future i'm sure.

however, part of the reason i'm so gosh darned happy today is that pickle took me to see Ronnie Burkett's Provenance last night. it was, by far and hands down, the most beautiful thing I've ever seen. at the end i just couldn't stop crying, such was my disbelief at seeing beauty incarnate and only having to pay $25 for it. fuck the plastic bag blowing in the wind people - this is the shit!

please people, i hate to sound like a thinner Ebert here, but if you go to see only one thing this year, go to this.
Vancouver: Vancouver East Cultural Centre - Dec 4-Dec 21 2003
Toronto: CanStage - Jan 25-March 6 2004
London: BITE:04 - April 30-May15
Manchester: queerupnorth - May 20-May26
Vienna: Wiener Festwochen - June 2 -June 6.

those of you in Europe, it's worth the trip to another city to see this. trust me. it is to laugh that the czechs think they have they are the master puppeteers. no way man, this canadian dude has everyone totally beat. oh, and just because it's puppets don't think it is for the kids. leave the youngins behind for this one. well, unless you wanna have a lot of 'splaining to do.
the puppet man

11.13.2003

Well today was much less productive then it should have been, but I'm not gonna worry about it. I chaired a meeting, had a heart echo, read a ton, and taught an english lesson. I also was a shoulder to cry on for 2 people - it's a shoulder that's pretty low to the ground, but enough people seem to think it has good support.

I am apparently not the only one going slightly insane about grad school. I had a teary-eyed dude from religious studies this morning and an over-worked fellow CompLit girl this afternoon. Oh, and a Slavic studies chick last night. Now she had a reason to be upset. But the CompLit girl - man she works 30 hours a week at her job, and is trying to make the first real relationship of her life (she's 40) work while she's going to school and it's getting rough. We first year MA students are also, as I mentioned, taking it up the ass (in a bad, overly rough way) from the backstabbing, uptight higher ups. If something isn't done, we're going to be dropping off like flies.

However I just got a 93 on my Directed Reading proposal, so all is now right with the world again.

My pal Devon and I have come up with a plan to take over the world. We're going to get first year MA students together for socialising stuff - from all departments just the pals we have and we're going to be stronger and shut out those stupid highly pretentious twerps in the higher echelon. Solidarity amoung the lower classes, Marxism prevails :)

Anyhoo... off to play with my country. But I wanted to say thanks to all those who reached out in my time of need. You guys are the reason I'm not walking around crying like the rest of my kind. Well, that and the fact that my rep as tough Italian chick would just go down the tubes and then the wolves would be after me. Seriously though folks, you are vunderbar. Highness, I really can't thank you enough for that damn pic on your blog. I'm going to print it out and carry it in my wallet. Happy Thoughts.

And I have my belly dancing to keep me sane. I'm going to start taking the Monday class next week and double up on lessons as the performance is approaching.

Dec 6: the belly shakes.

11.12.2003

Was laughing my ass off this morning reading Matej's blog about how delivery companies are sometimes not so good (he phrased it a touch more strongly than that :) and I couldn't help remembering my Loomis fiasco this summer. I feel for you man, I feel for you.

Still in a bit of a mood but I'm getting over it. I just came from reading Shifting Gears on Grasshopper's blog, which I totally identified with. As usual, Grasshopper always gives me something that fits in perfectly with my state of mind. The link is there for those in the mood. I'm sure his other stuff is also very interesting, but I'm too busy reading one-sided marxist texts and definitions of fantasy from the English who believe they created the damn genre when it was actually the French (not that I want to give the French bigger heads then they've already got)

This whole grasshopper thing is getting out of hand though. I realised that I started calling Reilly grasshopper, but I've already got a grasshopper so I'm going to have think something up for Reilly before things get too confusing. It's already bad enough that everyone but me calls Kanga "blackdaisies". But you see, the original grasshopper came from a series of dreams I was having about him (one of which included him being the judge of an impromptu head-giving contest amongst girls - which of course I won) and in this dream everyone was just calling him grasshopper for no particular reason and when I woke up I found I couldn't think of him any other way.

Today is going to be a day of letting go and learning lessons. Sadly, it means deciding to limit my friends (not anyone here of course!) and being less optimistic about the state of human beings (some might say I'm naive), but really if I open up to too many people who attempt to fuck me over, I'm going to end up not being open at all, so it's best that I remain my uber friendly self, but just keep my damn yap shut around certain people. So I'm going to let go of the mistakes I've already made, and cherish the people who are cherishing me. I can change the world, but I have to realise that it takes a damn long time to do that.

must be patient so my insidious plan to make everyone love eachother does not go wonky. should speak to Duke, he's the insidious plan man...

In the meantime, I have my little country that, although broke, is making me feel like I have a whole little world that I'm changing. It's a little psychotic, but it makes me happy. My people love me and are fiercely patriotic - it's all good.
Wishing you all good mental health

11.11.2003

Sorry I've been silent. Honestly I empathize with Asylus in that all I have to write about is school and given that I spend all day doing school I don't know how much I want to then sit down and write about it. Plus I know Chelsea and Matej really don't want to hear about my marxist interpretation of Neil Gaiman's Neverwhere. It would just be too upsetting for poor Chelsea and after her loss of the gold in the Hospital Pumpkin Carving competition, I just can't do that to her. I'd like all to know that she deserved that gold as she carved a HotWheels race track.

Yesterday was kinda interesting school stuff. I met the 17 year old girl that I'm mentoring. Man, it's been 10 years since I was 17. But it was sad to see the anxiety instilled in these youngsters - gotta get good grades so I can get into a good university and then, only then, will my life be set and I'll figure out what I want to do and university will save me. Literally, she thought that after taking a few uni courses she'd know exactly what she wanted to do with her life. And she's already planning, she's gotten a play she wrote put up and everything, but she wants to be sure of everything or else she's quite sure she'll amount to nothing. Jesus, I was too busy getting drunk behind the Zellers and skipping classes in High School to be that stressed out. And hey, I'm an MA student now. It is to laugh.

Yesterday was also a very nice lunch. It was sort of in my honour for helping out with a Translation Day conference, but a few girls in the department were there and Valerie was the hostess. And what a hostess! She's got an apartment covered in original prints of great Canadian, French, and Japanese artists. She made a superb 5 course lunch. And she's got 10 different kinds of single malt in the cupboard. I didn't think I'd ever leave! And sadly, having not had anything alcoholic to drink in a few months, and having been drinking lightly for over a year - well I got trashed on a glass on wine and a shot of scotch. Oh how the mighty have fallen. Anyhoo, it was nice and made me feel somewhat less like a grad student.

Let me explain.

You remember how in undergrad you just chatted with people and didn't worry that what you said was going to get back to your professor? Well grad studies are totally different. You have to watch your mouth at every turn because otherwise the competitive backstabbers in your department (who you're trying to make friends with) will twist shit around and tell the world and then the profs know and you're screwed. It's bad, really really bad. So I've basically been making friends with people outside the department because things aren't so competitive that way. I'm sure the people I've made friends with backstab with their own department (it's a pre-requisite apparently) but not with those outside of it. It's the only safe zone out there. It's not that I think the people in my department are terrible, but I certainly won't be opening up too much to them. I mostly just lie my face off and tell people little shocking things to see if they get around (and they do). But it's a terrible thing for someone who has worked all her life to be open to have to learn to close herself again, especially when she's trying to be totally open to all the new information she's receiving.

What I've just said is the most realistic picture of grad studies in the Arts you're going to get. However, things are getting better. The new MA students (even the ones in my programme) are much less pretentious and competitive, they seem to know that unless we're a team we ain't gonna get through this year without getting torn to shreds by the higher-ups. Plus a lot of people that are coming in are people who haven't always been in academia, people who aren't used to/didn't know about the incestuous,gossipy underbelly. And, eternal optimist that I am, I think we'll change things around once some of the others graduate and get the fuck out. Either that or we'll all become as weird as they are. EEEEEK!

Enough of my ranting. Please go visit Grasshopper's blog as he is an amazing amazing person. He'll make you think and give you different points of view from which to see the world - what else could you ask for? I'm so uber happy that he's decided to blog, I can't tell you.

With all the rest of you, I hope you don't mind that I will remain as open as ever. And please don't think that I'm unhappy in grad school. I have made some friends, and I'm loving the studies (a little too much really, it's kinda sad), I just have to get used to the politics. I'm actually going to try to stay open, I mean if I'm open to everyone then I won't mind if everyone knows what I say right? It may mean the doom of my academic career, but change has to start somewhere and these politics have to change. I'm a courageous person who doesn't get damaged all that easily so I might as well take a few hits for the team. I shall prevail dammit. When your kids go to grad school, all will be into the poo talk, you just wait and see!

11.05.2003

ah crap I think I just screwed my little country. They asked if I wanted to allow gambling, and well weirdly enough though I have an open mind about many things, I just don't like gambling. I'm not making moral judgements here, but hey it's my country and I don't like it so I can do what I want! But I believe my already average economy is going to go down the shitter. Oh well, at least my turtles are protected!

11.04.2003

For those of you who haven't checked out Her Highness' blog, this is a cool site where you can create your own country, its gov't, national animal etc. Mine is called Taneshka and my national animal is the turtle - you can check it out from the site. Anyhoo, I haven't run amok too much, but Chelsea has an anarchist hell going on. They give you issues (you arrange for the scheduling of the issues) and you get to decide which course of action to take. Anyhoo, I'm finding it amusing.

http://www.nationstates.net/cgi-bin/index.cgi

11.03.2003

okay okay so I'm officially a moron, but what do you expect when a friend sends you a petition from a committee on which she actually sits? I sent her an email today telling her that the whole petition is just a way of getting people's email addresses so they can spam about other stuff. She replied back, quite upset obviously that she had been taken for a ride.
I was also quite upset as she had given these people all the email addresses of our CL 507 class (about 28 people) so I guess I'm about to be spammed hardcore by someone or other. Aren't you all glad I put it up on my blog rather than sending you all the petition? At least I wasn't bad dumb, just silly naive dumb.

11.02.2003

Okay guys, halloween was lovely, but I have a new bandwagon for everyone to jump on.

I got an email to sign a petition to stop what's going on at this sick sick website. Apparently it's been shut down before but managed to spring back up again as you can get permits in the US to do this shit to poor defenseless kittens. If someone can tell me this is some sick joke, then I'll be happy. If not, if you want the email to sign the petition just tell me in the comments.

http://www.bonsaikitten.com