Sorry I've been silent. Honestly I empathize with Asylus in that all I have to write about is school and given that I spend all day doing school I don't know how much I want to then sit down and write about it. Plus I know Chelsea and Matej really don't want to hear about my marxist interpretation of Neil Gaiman's Neverwhere. It would just be too upsetting for poor Chelsea and after her loss of the gold in the Hospital Pumpkin Carving competition, I just can't do that to her. I'd like all to know that she deserved that gold as she carved a HotWheels race track.
Yesterday was kinda interesting school stuff. I met the 17 year old girl that I'm mentoring. Man, it's been 10 years since I was 17. But it was sad to see the anxiety instilled in these youngsters - gotta get good grades so I can get into a good university and then, only then, will my life be set and I'll figure out what I want to do and university will save me. Literally, she thought that after taking a few uni courses she'd know exactly what she wanted to do with her life. And she's already planning, she's gotten a play she wrote put up and everything, but she wants to be sure of everything or else she's quite sure she'll amount to nothing. Jesus, I was too busy getting drunk behind the Zellers and skipping classes in High School to be that stressed out. And hey, I'm an MA student now. It is to laugh.
Yesterday was also a very nice lunch. It was sort of in my honour for helping out with a Translation Day conference, but a few girls in the department were there and Valerie was the hostess. And what a hostess! She's got an apartment covered in original prints of great Canadian, French, and Japanese artists. She made a superb 5 course lunch. And she's got 10 different kinds of single malt in the cupboard. I didn't think I'd ever leave! And sadly, having not had anything alcoholic to drink in a few months, and having been drinking lightly for over a year - well I got trashed on a glass on wine and a shot of scotch. Oh how the mighty have fallen. Anyhoo, it was nice and made me feel somewhat less like a grad student.
Let me explain.
You remember how in undergrad you just chatted with people and didn't worry that what you said was going to get back to your professor? Well grad studies are totally different. You have to watch your mouth at every turn because otherwise the competitive backstabbers in your department (who you're trying to make friends with) will twist shit around and tell the world and then the profs know and you're screwed. It's bad, really really bad. So I've basically been making friends with people outside the department because things aren't so competitive that way. I'm sure the people I've made friends with backstab with their own department (it's a pre-requisite apparently) but not with those outside of it. It's the only safe zone out there. It's not that I think the people in my department are terrible, but I certainly won't be opening up too much to them. I mostly just lie my face off and tell people little shocking things to see if they get around (and they do). But it's a terrible thing for someone who has worked all her life to be open to have to learn to close herself again, especially when she's trying to be totally open to all the new information she's receiving.
What I've just said is the most realistic picture of grad studies in the Arts you're going to get. However, things are getting better. The new MA students (even the ones in my programme) are much less pretentious and competitive, they seem to know that unless we're a team we ain't gonna get through this year without getting torn to shreds by the higher-ups. Plus a lot of people that are coming in are people who haven't always been in academia, people who aren't used to/didn't know about the incestuous,gossipy underbelly. And, eternal optimist that I am, I think we'll change things around once some of the others graduate and get the fuck out. Either that or we'll all become as weird as they are. EEEEEK!
Enough of my ranting. Please go visit Grasshopper's blog as he is an amazing amazing person. He'll make you think and give you different points of view from which to see the world - what else could you ask for? I'm so uber happy that he's decided to blog, I can't tell you.
With all the rest of you, I hope you don't mind that I will remain as open as ever. And please don't think that I'm unhappy in grad school. I have made some friends, and I'm loving the studies (a little too much really, it's kinda sad), I just have to get used to the politics. I'm actually going to try to stay open, I mean if I'm open to everyone then I won't mind if everyone knows what I say right? It may mean the doom of my academic career, but change has to start somewhere and these politics have to change. I'm a courageous person who doesn't get damaged all that easily so I might as well take a few hits for the team. I shall prevail dammit. When your kids go to grad school, all will be into the poo talk, you just wait and see!
Yesterday was kinda interesting school stuff. I met the 17 year old girl that I'm mentoring. Man, it's been 10 years since I was 17. But it was sad to see the anxiety instilled in these youngsters - gotta get good grades so I can get into a good university and then, only then, will my life be set and I'll figure out what I want to do and university will save me. Literally, she thought that after taking a few uni courses she'd know exactly what she wanted to do with her life. And she's already planning, she's gotten a play she wrote put up and everything, but she wants to be sure of everything or else she's quite sure she'll amount to nothing. Jesus, I was too busy getting drunk behind the Zellers and skipping classes in High School to be that stressed out. And hey, I'm an MA student now. It is to laugh.
Yesterday was also a very nice lunch. It was sort of in my honour for helping out with a Translation Day conference, but a few girls in the department were there and Valerie was the hostess. And what a hostess! She's got an apartment covered in original prints of great Canadian, French, and Japanese artists. She made a superb 5 course lunch. And she's got 10 different kinds of single malt in the cupboard. I didn't think I'd ever leave! And sadly, having not had anything alcoholic to drink in a few months, and having been drinking lightly for over a year - well I got trashed on a glass on wine and a shot of scotch. Oh how the mighty have fallen. Anyhoo, it was nice and made me feel somewhat less like a grad student.
Let me explain.
You remember how in undergrad you just chatted with people and didn't worry that what you said was going to get back to your professor? Well grad studies are totally different. You have to watch your mouth at every turn because otherwise the competitive backstabbers in your department (who you're trying to make friends with) will twist shit around and tell the world and then the profs know and you're screwed. It's bad, really really bad. So I've basically been making friends with people outside the department because things aren't so competitive that way. I'm sure the people I've made friends with backstab with their own department (it's a pre-requisite apparently) but not with those outside of it. It's the only safe zone out there. It's not that I think the people in my department are terrible, but I certainly won't be opening up too much to them. I mostly just lie my face off and tell people little shocking things to see if they get around (and they do). But it's a terrible thing for someone who has worked all her life to be open to have to learn to close herself again, especially when she's trying to be totally open to all the new information she's receiving.
What I've just said is the most realistic picture of grad studies in the Arts you're going to get. However, things are getting better. The new MA students (even the ones in my programme) are much less pretentious and competitive, they seem to know that unless we're a team we ain't gonna get through this year without getting torn to shreds by the higher-ups. Plus a lot of people that are coming in are people who haven't always been in academia, people who aren't used to/didn't know about the incestuous,gossipy underbelly. And, eternal optimist that I am, I think we'll change things around once some of the others graduate and get the fuck out. Either that or we'll all become as weird as they are. EEEEEK!
Enough of my ranting. Please go visit Grasshopper's blog as he is an amazing amazing person. He'll make you think and give you different points of view from which to see the world - what else could you ask for? I'm so uber happy that he's decided to blog, I can't tell you.
With all the rest of you, I hope you don't mind that I will remain as open as ever. And please don't think that I'm unhappy in grad school. I have made some friends, and I'm loving the studies (a little too much really, it's kinda sad), I just have to get used to the politics. I'm actually going to try to stay open, I mean if I'm open to everyone then I won't mind if everyone knows what I say right? It may mean the doom of my academic career, but change has to start somewhere and these politics have to change. I'm a courageous person who doesn't get damaged all that easily so I might as well take a few hits for the team. I shall prevail dammit. When your kids go to grad school, all will be into the poo talk, you just wait and see!
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