Fuck, I know, I need to get life, but there are just so many good quizes out there!
Katharine Hepburn You scored 11% grit, 42% wit, 42% flair, and 14% class!
You are the fabulously quirky and independent woman of character. You go your own way, follow your own drummer, take your own lead. You stand head and shoulders next to your partner, but you are perfectly willing and able to stand alone. Others might be more classically beautiful or conventionally woman-like, but you possess a more fundamental common sense and off-kilter charm, making interesting men fall at your feet. You can pick them up or leave them there as you see fit. You share the screen with the likes of Spencer Tracy and Cary Grant, thinking men who like strong women.
- listening to Fidelity by Regina Spektor. - reading The Wintersmith by Terry Pratchett (whole Tiffany Aching series is great) - learning Kami Liddle and Ariellah Aflalo choreos - eating Amy's Texas burgers - trying to find good Jaylee fic (jayne/kaylee - jayne is my love on this Whedon creation, but somehow I don't buy him with another guy, which is too bad as I love the slash :() - frantically sewing extreme amounts of sequins. - Watching Firefly and Veronica Mars
and he thinks about last night and one time when her eyes dark in the night seemed so large and looking at him with what seemed to be her whole being pouring through them and it scared him more than a little because loving with closed eyes was like swimming through a warm ocean when all the world was her skin and the small beautiful sounds she made but her eyes right then were like a riptide calling him to the deep.
and then later on the couch, again her face in shadow and the eyes black against the black couch, he felt the undertow and he knew he would not be able to hold on to the shore much longer.
and though he knows his scribblings speak of losing and drowning what they are really describing are the terrifying moments of relearning the ways of swimming in deep waters, places he's been to before, though this will be an ocean like no other......its just that he's been so long in shallow waters that he has to learn how to dive again.
I'm grateful for beautiful words. I've been feeling a little Oprahesque again, with this whole need to list things I'm grateful for. If I were to be totally honest right now I'd be very thankful that I managed to download a new version of soundforge and splice together two very different pieces of music for the upcoming big gothic debut. Thank god for my work with CJSR and sound editing software, though may I say that Macs have far superior programs for this sort of thing, my PC was almost thrown out the window.
But yes, onto "deep" things I'm grateful for. And I guess I don't feel too schmalzy listing these, because really I can either be melodramatic about the depression I went through, or I can find release by thinking about the way the world took/takes care of me. Other than Katie, these are in no specific order.
1. Katie. She affected my life the way few things have. 2. Becca and Kanga for forgiving me for being such a shite friend. 3. The ladies of RAB, especially Jodi, Karen, Stacey, and Denise. 4. Belly dance in general, wouldn't have made it through the last two years w/out it. 5. Nibblet for the almost daily checkings up on me and the banal but beautiful conversation and the always fun flirtation. 6. Pickle for being my hero and never accepting the world the way it is. And for making me soft. And letting me be a wimp. 7. Pema Chodron (who Pickle turned me onto) without the writings of this beautiful woman I'd still be lost in the ether of despondency. 8. Denise for turning me onto the Enneagram, which helped me to figure out my particular triggers that make me be not present in my life and how to holster/safety them. 9. Kim and the Cherubs, well...just for being. 10. The bookstore, and all the amazing people who work in it. Though some days I'd like to set it on fire, it's actually saved me in a lot of ways. 9. And for the last few days, I've been pretty grateful to Ass of Steel. In fact, you'll notice how my list has 3 exes on it, they've been pretty cool people. Ass put up with a lot of shit from me, and still made me dinner and made with the 24/7 oral sex. Plus, he gave me the most amazing gift ever: stories. For quite some time, there was a series he created where I was a superhero - Wee Yin: Tales of the Scottish-Chinese Folk Hero. It's hilarious, and I'm going to have to start dating an artist so they can draw the comicbook. Ass has got it on some sort of website thingie, but I think I have to upload it from my computer and I don't think blogger will let me do it. Anyway
Good quiz here folks. As a superhero, I would Spider Man - I am intelligent, witty, a bit geeky and have great power and responsibility. Sounds about right.
But before you run out and take the superhero quiz yourselves, I'm wondering if any of you still on blogger have tried out this new blogger thing. I've read up on it a bit and I don't know if it's such a good idea. I keep getting offered to sign into it and convert my blog, but I'm not hearing the best things about it and the small print says they can choose to terminate my blog without cause.
How many mornings must I wake up sore and exhausted? Last night saw my first duet and my first gothic dance performance - I had so much fun! A huge thanks to Jodi for helping me out and doing this with me. It was very exciting! Though next time somebody please remind me to shave my armpits. Yeesh.
Now with work and dance this weekend, grocery shopping seems to have been neglected. Now I'm sore and foodless, and most importantly, too lazy to move. Sigh, life is hard.
Thank you to those who took up the challenge. Kirtles and Kanga and Ass, oh my! The month is not over yet, so mayhaps more of you will join us.
Well I've spent the last few days totally vegetating and being an irresponsible pathetic geek. Veronica Mars is very addictive. Very addictive. I'm just happy to be obsessed with a show that's still actually on tv. I'm not exactly sure what makes it so addictive, other than that Veronica and Logan have got to be the most crushable tv characters. Well that and the weird little throw away references to people like Thorstein Veblen. Plus, to my mind, no post-coital repartee has been colder than Spike's "I love syphillis more than you." but Logan's "Listen Bessie, when the milk stops being free, I stop drinking it" certainly gives Spike a run for his money.
My blog today was inspired by seeing someone write about their first crush in a blog Kanga found. Charlton Karlowsky (although he became Charlton Pike later on). I loved this boy from grade 2 all the way to grade 6. He was blonde, brown eyed, with tan skin, and big pouty lips (which occasionally had cold sores on them, but for once I was able to overlook this). To this day I have no idea what made this boy so appealing, but I have never crushed on someone like I crushed on him. And he wasn't some unattainable bad boy, he was the sweetest dude. And we did get a small moment in the sun and today is going to witness the unbearably twee account of it.
I moved away from my elementary school after grade 5, to move to the Armpit of the Universe, but my mom and I hated it so much that she and I moved back to our hometown after a few months so I could finish elementary with my old friends while letting my dad know how serious we were about hating the new town. Huh, trying to write about moves without using city names is proving difficult. Anyway, when I moved back to my old school, I noticed Charlton was different. In fact, this difference might have started occuring in late grade 5, but this old woman's memory is getting fuzzy. In any case, I really noticed the change in grade 6, he had always been part of the popular group and he still seemed well-liked but he was hanging out alone a lot, or with another one of the boys I adored, Joel Bantham (if you ever find this Joel, I still sleep with the old yellow duck you gave me for my 13th birthday, and this duck comes with me on most trips I go on, she got quite drunk in Santorini actually, she's kind of a slut if you must know). Charlton was quieter, I still don't know the cause, but I caught the effect. One enormously sweet moment of his was when my best friend lost the necklace her grandmother had given her and he spent the entire lunch hour sifting through the gravel in the playground looking for it. Oh, I'm tearing up just thinking about it.
So anyway, the sunny moment. I find out a few days before the grade 6 graduation dance that Charlton likes me. ME! After 4 years of crushing, he actually likes me! It kind of sucks, because I know I'm moving back to Armpit just 3 days after grad, but I'm still stupidly happy. He and I have a few awkward and shy smiles in the days that follow and then it's the day of the dance. We all hang out and dance and stuff, and finally he works up the courage to ask me to dance, he was wearing something charcoal grey and a green shirt I believe. We start dancing to that horrendous Beaches rendition of Under the Boardwalk (which I still get misty over when I hear it) and it is the best moment of my young life. But the chaperones start having issues over the dance going overtime and they shut the song off early, so I don't even get a full dance with the love of my life and then we all have to go home.
This would have been tragic, but we all planned a pool party at the public pool for the day after. I got to spend the whole day with him, it was the epitome of glorious. We spent the better part of the day out of the pool, sitting next to eachother outside by ourselves, and occasionally joined by his friend Gavin. I have no clue what we talked about, just that the memory of it makes me smile. I went home that night and listened to the Beaches soundtrack over and over while bawling my eyes out and never saw him again.
Okay, in order to make myself feel better after days of geeking and now writing about crushes I had 20 years ago, here is an example of someone more obsessive than I.
Well everyone, after my graphic description of self love, I found Ass of Steel mentioning masturbation on his blog too. Now with Kanga on the November blog challenge I'm thinking I can convince her to write about touching herself as well. Folks, waddaya say?Perhaps I can start a trend this month?
In the hopes of inspiring all of you to blog about this too often taboo topic, here is a too too funny Spike and Angel vid. Please watch until the very end and not at work. I think it rates best ever use of the Spike playing CrashBandicoot clip.
Little Miss Sunshine - an american feelgood film that actually made me feel good. Yes people, I finally got to see it. The saga begins months ago when I received not one but two free tickets at two different times to advanced screenings and had to turn them down because I had dance class. Once it hits the theatres officially, I dance muchly and can't go. I finally make it to see the movie a few weeks ago and my date actually passes out cold within the first five minutes (the second date to pass out on me in two years) which required me having to wake him and then leave the theatre to take care of him. Finally my friend Nat, who has already seen the movie twice, says it's just too much of a crime that I haven't seen it and takes me to it, and we have to change seats three times because jackasses keep sitting in front of us. But once the movie started it was totally worth all of it, that last scene had me crying with laughter and I just love movies where everyone in the audience claps at the end. To feel like you have to express appreciation even though there is no one to express it to is quite lovely.
The grandpa character tells his little granddaughter Olive that losers are the people who are so afraid of losing that they don't try (after telling her that he's madly in love with her and it's not because of her personality or her brains - something a girl needs to hear now and again, I think), and yesterday I witnessed the bestest trying I've ever seen. One of my best friends has a boyfriend that I have judged pretty harshly in the past. He's not an evil guy, but he's pretty damn dumb and possessive and paranoid and the redneck to end all rednecks and they have completely different ideas of what a relationship is. But it's gotten through his thick skull that if he doesn't change, he's going to lose her. So he started trying. And for the last month, I've been astounded at his efforts: the phone calls have been reduced to half (which is still way too much but it's an improvement), the implications that she's cheating on him also reduced by half, and he has realized that belly dance is her life and made it his quest to help her as much as he can with that. She's had some enforced stress leave the last few days and he took days off to be with her (lives out of town) and has taken her around to fabric stores and craft stores looking for new costume pieces. Yesterday she and I came home after dance class (from 9am-1:00pm) and we hear this noise coming from her apartment. We walk in and there he is, all approx. 400lbs of his rigworking redneck ass, sewing at the kitchen table. He went out in the morning and bought a sewing machine and by the time we got there he was almost finished a truly kickass gothic tribal belt for her. I am almost physically incapable of crying in public, but damn I had to leave quickly and get home as fast as possible so I could have myself a good wee cry about this. He may be a boy of little brain, but he is a boy of huge heart and I hope that's enough to make him a better man.
Oh phew, I finally have some time to sit down and write when I'm not utterly exhausted. It's been one hell of a month, dance-wise. Just so much stuff to do, so many performances.
I don't usually use titles on my blog, but I couldn't resist quoting Ronnie Burkett's new show. And it relates. My depression has wanted to seep back in to my head these last few days, but stuff keeps happening that just won't let it take control. It has been smoted, mostly by my beautiful friends.
I got a surprise call the other morning from my Nibblet, for no reason other than that he missed my voice (I think he was trying to con me into morning phone sex, but I'm just not that creative in the morning).
I found out my cherubs are coming to visit me, which seriously gets me grinning like a loon everytime I think about it, it's just the best news ever! Though now I'm all panicked about what I'm going to do with them.
Sonic played a song I hadn't heard in ages but that I really love - Impression that I Get by the Mighty Mighty Bosstones. And I found it has come to mean something totally different to me now that I have had to knock on wood.
I broke off a very tiny relationship and it went better than any break up I've ever had. Just lovely and kind and with no tears or recriminations. I should have tiny relationships more often.
I had a lovely dinner with Ass of Steel and he told me about his new love. She seems awesome and has been described to me by a friend as "a supermodel who has kept her small breasts so you know she's not totally shallow." Ass deserves everything that is good and pretty so I'm glad. A little jealous...but glad. :)
I found out that Lady Lakira (a friend I met while her girl was trying to take off my pants, which was not nearly as awkward as it could have been) is in fact, the Lady Lakira of femslash fame. I'm so stupid for not having made the connection earlier, as the name sounded so familiar. I found some of your fics, but I swear there were more around back in the day - perhaps you would be so kind as to tell me where I could find them? Unfortunately for my thesis, I also found a page of her recs, which has had me reading a wee bit too much. Ooh, and I have a request for a fic, if you would be so kind: Pairing: Holly/Kim Rating: NC-17 (of course) Set after Serenity and must involve Inara's shuttle and a pineapple.
I got to see Ronnie Burkett's new show 10 Days on Earth. He is, without a doubt or a hint of exaggeration, the most brilliant man alive today. The National Post said "he has the bad habit of making the rest of theatre look unnecessary." I completely agree. I still actually get teary eyed at the thought that I will never see Provenance (his last show) again as it has been retired. It was about a grad student searching for beauty and I had recently become a grad student and it just related. This show is about a mentally challenged man whose mother dies, but he doesn't realize it for 10 days, and as my uncle is schizophrenic and has lost both his parents and is now in hospital where the want to use electroshock on him, Mr. Burkett has again somehow read my mind and put it into a play. Not that my uncle is anywhere near as charming or sweet as the main character in 10 Days. There were times when what Burkett had on stage was just so beautiful that I didn't think I was going to be able to take it. I think it must be wonderful to be him, and listen to adults make gasps of joy and wonder that many of them haven't made in years. It sounded like a crowd full of joyous 5 year olds. He is the man.
And last but not least, a friend sent me this. You internet savvy people have probably all seen it, but it made my day.
