I can't seem to get back in the swing of the blogging thing lately. I think it's because I haven't been dancing as much, which just slows me down spirit-wise. I'm not taking as many classes because I can't afford to right now, but it's sorta killing me. On the bright side, there have been workshops, the one this Sunday was filled with monk-inspired excercises that made me very very tired.

So I thought and thought about what would make me want to write, and of course, sex popped into my brain. I thought perhaps people might want to get their rocks off today, spring is in the air! Really this blog has not been very perverted of late, so here I will provide you with a link to the most fabulous online erotica idea I've seen:

Choose your own adventure porn!

Yes, that's right ladies and gentlemen, the kinktastic and humourous Poshcat decided to put up a choose your own adventure fanfic, and it's not even just slash, you can choose the spuffy (spike/buffy) options so you don't have to deal with the man on man action, should you be one of those freaky people that doesn't like to envision two hot men having sex. So, if you feel like reading a little something today while waiting to get out of your offices/homes and into the warm weather, check out the Choose Your Own Porny Adventure

And because I know not as many of you will check out the Spander stuff, I have to include this chucklesome passage from the threesome scene where Xander is getting the attention:

"And what makes you think I know anything about bums?" Spike asked in mock disgust. Buffy didn't answer - she must have been giving Spike a Look. Spike laughed. "Fine. What do you want to know?"

"How many fingers would I use?" She was getting excited all over again. Every pulse point in Xander's body was pounding.

"Let me take a look at your hand? Mm, pretty small...all of them."

"What! But how?"

"Here, pretend your hand is a puppet. Make it into a pointy-faced bloke. Yes, right, you're making him talk. God help us. But he doesn't want to talk right now, he wants to fuck Xander up the ass. Just put him in nose-first and keep on going."

Sidenote - Poshcat's other fiction is also pretty hot, her Spike/Dawn thing is unrealistic but really hot. If you like that sort of thing. And I love the ending.

And for my cherubs, I have to give you something because I love you and also because the quote from Marie about "In the Days of Whore" is the #1 google search that leads strangers to my blog so she is cause for some of the success of this blog. Apparently everyone wants to be in the know about this leper/viking porn movie.

So, because I know you have mismatched fandoms, here's a treat that you might not have found: Joss Whedon's Pride and Prejudice (Warning: I have not read this and have no idea if it's any good, or if it's even that porny, but just wanted to prove that the internet can feed any fetish)

Still looking for the Jane Austen/Star Trek crossover for you, but the only thing I found was non-kink If Jane Austen Wrote Star Trek.

If anyone else I know wants to email me their show fetish, I'm very good at finding erotica about all sorts of stuff. You could call me Wee Yin: Amateur Porn Detective.

Well, it's a little late for last week's Sunday Scribbling, but in the spirit of getting back into blogging I'm gonna do it anyway.

News. The word just doesn't seem to fit what it describes. The word implies newness to me and the news never feels new. I read about politics and murders and disasters and they just seem like the same old stories I've heard a million times before, with the names and dates changed. I guess you couldn't really call the news the "olds" because technically the events chronicled happened recently and also "olds" is not as marketable, doesn't sell papers.

I guess that's why, despite wanting to stay well informed about the world, I often avoid the news. It just feels like listening to example upon example of how we keep making the same mistakes over and over and that nothing really changes. I guess that's comforting for the people who dislike change, but I don't like being reminded of how infrequently the world and the people in it make any significant changes. I want to believe we can change, that we can make change happen, and listening to constant proof of how this is rarely possible in the human race doesn't inspire me to keep trying.

Or perhaps that's my excuse for ditching the newspaper and reading fanfic instead.

More dance shows!

Thank you to the Mexican Nun Fucker for the quiz. Can't say I disagree with the description here, however I would like to change the classification title. I'm not On Again, Off Again, rather Constantly On But Sometimes You Need To Get A Life Of Your Own So I Can Have Some Room to Breathe. Guess that's too long, what if I just called it Being Independent?
Far more flattering, I'll go with that.

Your Dating Style: On Again, Off Again

You are all about the on again off again relationship. You know you love that one person but sometimes you need your space.

'What is your dating style?' at QuizGalaxy.com

I keep wanting to get back into Sunday Scribblings, but really I can't do it with the dark topic they have this weeks as even I'm getting bored with my ramblings on depression. And when I'm getting bored by the sound of my own voice, you know I've really been talking about something for too long.

Besides, I know all you gossipy little people are just wondering about my first crush contacting me. Awhile back, I wrote about my first crush, and I used his real name just because I thought perhaps he might google himself and find it and it would be cool to hear from him again. I thought this, but I didn't expect it to actually happen. However, due to the uniqueness of his name, I believe my blog is the only thing that comes up when you google his name. Anyway, he found it and I'm happy to report that, though it's only been a couple of emails, Charlton still seems like the total sweetheart he was in elementary school, now surrounded by two adorable little daughters who look just like him. He remains the only sweet guy I've ever fallen for, I'm sadly generally more attracted to sarcastic jackasses these days. It was an interesting excercise to sum up the last 18 years of my life in a succinct fashion, I encourage you all to try it. I ended up cataloguing by moves and schooling, which is kinda boring. This is what I came up with:

Let me explain, no there is too much, let me sum up. After Calgary, I moved to Armpit, discovered (to no one's shock) that me and Catholic schools don't go together. Moved to Kelowna and had a blast for the time I was there. Went to the prestigious Okanagan University College for my first year (please note the sarcasm about the prestigious part). Moved to Edmonton, went to U of A in English and French lit for 2 years. Moved to Vancouver, ended ridiculously long and not-so-healthy relationship, finished BA at UBC, had many jobs trying to figure out what to do with a BA (including a stint doing phone sex, nothing like spending 5 years in university in order to get paid to turn men on with your impressive vocabulary), got an Editing certificate, did that for awhile. Then I moved to Prague for 2 years, where I worked for an educational theatre and oddly, also did part time work doing voice overs for soft porn films (if you ever see Sins of the Realm, the voice one of the main villains is me - I don't recommend you see this movie, I have literally crapped better dialogue). I've been back in *** for a few years now, doing an MA in Comparative Literature, working in an indie bookstore, trying to avoid white-picket fences, and becoming a semi-professional belly dancer. Started the belly dancing about 5 years ago, it's pretty much the reason I exist now.

I'm thinking this is going to be my own writing challenge for the next blog, to come up with something more interesting than this to describe my life post elementary school.

I may not blog for a bit after this as my Grasshopper is coming for a visit today. I was again astounded by the internet because I've kept in contact with Grasshopper through email and chats etc, and I hadn't realized that it's been many years since I've actually seen the guy in person. Maybe 5 years? Craziness. I'm so excited to see him again, I'm all a twitter.

And I shall leave you now with some bellydance youtube stuff, the first by Urban Tribal, who I just love, and the second a show put on by one of the ladies I love Sarah Johanssen Locke. The show was called Hybrid and looks like it was very well done.