10.12.2004

I had a lovely Turkey day in the company of friends - so much excellent food I cannot describe to you. And I was bad, as the hostess made a cranberry chocolate tort that might have been the tastiest, richest thing ever (and I've been to France people, I know rich food) and I scarfed down quite a large portion of it.

However, now that the sugar high has passed (two days later...) I'll move on to other things. I was reading that the Sex and the City people have put out a dating advice book called He's Just Not That Into You based on that episode where Miranda is talking about a guy she's recently dated who said ended a date saying "I'll call you" and she takes that to be a good sign and Burgher says "Listen, he's just not that into you"

It's a book telling women not to "waste the pretty" on people who are just not that interested. It makes comments on how women will stick around in relationships with men who obviously just aren't so keen and try to make it work. I agree that this is often the case (I've fallen prey to it myself on...well, actually just one occassion, but it was a big one)and that people seem to prefer holding on rather than moving on when a partner appears to be losing interest - if they ever expressed real interest in the first place. Now you'll notice I've made this go both ways - the book only talks about women wasting the pretty, not guys. I find this ironic as in my experience (limited as it is) after they get comfy, it's very often the boy who will continue to put up with anything rather than actually leave the comfiness of a long-term relationship.

Now, while I think many of us (including men) need to hear the message that their the person they like just might not like them so much, I don't know that it applies quite so harshly to the long-term relationship. If someone can't bother to adore you even in the beginning of a new relationship then screw them, this is correct. When people find what they're looking for, they're quite attentive for the most part so if they're not, just move on to another one. But when one has been married 30 years and one partner sort of starts neglecting the other for a little while, I'm not so sure the "move on" advice is quite as applicable. At that point, it's probably time to try and "recycle the old pussy/cock" as Chris Rock would put it, and see how one can try and gain a fresh perspective on how pretty the pretty you've got is. If all these attempts fail and you're still not being adored as you should be, then you the possibility of a break-up on the table. But as I haven't actually read the book, I'm not sure they try and apply the advice to all relationships or just "dating"

The book has actually sold out in the province of Ontario - there might be a riot during the wait period to get more books. It seems people really enjoy this tough love thing - first Dr. Laura and now this. Is it possible we're getting tired of whiny, self-involved, self-indulgence?

Looking around me at the teenagers on the bus, I don't think so.

1 Comments:

Anonymous Anonymous said...

I really enjoyed this episode of Sex and the City (almost as much as the post-it note episode). And I'm guessing the book applies only to dating, but maybe i have too much faith in people.

I can't stand the way us girls often look for excuses as to why a guy doesn't seem that interested, which is why i found that episode so refreshing. I also can't understand why we don't just look at the facts and declare 'he's just not that into me'.

I can't.
I'm sorry.
don't hate me.

Klara

2:13 a.m.  

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