Now ladies please remember to sing along!

I Will Survive

At first I was afraid, I was petrified, When you said you had 10 inches -
Lord, I almost died.

But I'd spent oh so many years just waiting for a man that long, That I
grew strong, and I knew that I could take you on. . .

But there you are, another lie, I was ready for a big mac and you've
brought me a French fry. I should have known that it was bullshit, just a
sad pathetic dream;

Should have known there was no anaconda lurking in those jeans.

Go on now go, walk out the door, Don't you promise me 10 inches then turn
up with only 4. Weren't you a prat to think I wouldn't catch you out.
Don't you know we're only joking when we say size doesn't count?

(Chorus)

I will survive, I will survive,
'Cos as long as I have batteries,
My sex life is gonna thrive.
I will always have good sex
With a handful of latex,
I will survive, I will survive. . .hey . hey

It took all my self control not to laugh out loud,
When I saw your little willy standing tall and proud.
But to hell with all your ego and to hell with all your needs,
Now I'm saving all my lovin' for a cordless multi-speed.
Go on now go, just make a dash,
Last time I saw a prick that small was watching Johnson run for hash.
I should have asked for confirmation; should have asked for referees,
Then I wouldn't have you waving that wee dinky thing at me.

Go on now go, just hit the track,
Don't you bring me home no tiddlers 'cos I'll always throw them back.
The only thing that I could do with a prick as small as yours,
Is to stick it with a toothpick to dip in tomato sauce.

(Chorus)

Go on now go, get out of my sight,
I'm going back to my appliance 'cos I know its length is right.
And if I ever see your tiny willy at my door,
You'll be counting up your inches as you pick them off the floor.

Go on now - Go!