Running all over doing errands. It's amazing how efficient one feels when one actually does things. I bought my ticket for Ktown to go to Corrine and Mike's wedding, which I am uber excited about, and it makes me feel better about not having been able to go down this weekend for her staggette. I just can't believe I wasn't there. But I couldn't afford it, sigh I hate money.
Which leads nicely into today's topic of friends and family. This nagging little voice in my head has been getting louder of late. It keeps telling me to keep in touch and make more effort with good friends. Sadly, in this busy day and age, it's pretty difficult to do. But I'm trying to figure out why this sudden feeling of love towards the pals and relations has started.
I have a very odd family situation. I'm the only child of two paretns in very large but very distant families. I have hundreds of relatives in Costa Rica (thousands really) but I hardly get to see them. Though family is very important to my mother so I love them all and feel attached to them even when I rarely communicate with them. Then my dad's family, which is also quite large but very (and do I mean very) disfunctional. He has totally disassociated himself from them, but my...call it curiosity, is aroused and I'd like to meet more of them. Lots in Montreal and quite a few in a small Italian village. And then there's the Mexican family that my uncle married into in Victoria - they are so super nice to me and are really the only family I've ever known in Canada, but they are also distant and it's kind of odd because they think education is shit and I just can't agree with them on that point. Not that I think education is everything, but not a single one of them has ever read a book for pleasure. The idea is laughable to them - most of them are working 2 jobs in order to support their kids. And they have a point that they're Mexican, and even if they educate themselves to the limit, this country still won't be so nice to them.So I know in a very vague sense that I have this massive community of support, but it's really vague. And I don't want it to be vague anymore.
Am I nesting? Why am I suddenly wanting to feel like part of a community?
Maybe because I was part of a very large family of friends in Prague and I loved the sense of security it gave me. Maybe I want to feel that more often.
I'm also looking back on how many good friends I've just lost touch with over the years. I've moved to a new city every 2 years since I was 19 and I did a lot of moving before then too and it just seems like I'm a place just long enough to develope a good circle of people and then I take off. I suppose it's the consequence of constantly wanting a new scene, but I've ditched some really loyal friends in the process and that just ain't right.
Perhaps it also has something to do with feeling connected in general. I mean, the more love the better right? Love and care just make you feel more connected to the universe, more willing to put love out there.
Who knows. But I will say that I've met some fabulous people over the years, both family and other. I want to thank all of them for having tried to be good friends with a girl who hasn't really given a whole lot back in return (other than her strange perversities).
Must go see more theatre. Can't stop.
Which leads nicely into today's topic of friends and family. This nagging little voice in my head has been getting louder of late. It keeps telling me to keep in touch and make more effort with good friends. Sadly, in this busy day and age, it's pretty difficult to do. But I'm trying to figure out why this sudden feeling of love towards the pals and relations has started.
I have a very odd family situation. I'm the only child of two paretns in very large but very distant families. I have hundreds of relatives in Costa Rica (thousands really) but I hardly get to see them. Though family is very important to my mother so I love them all and feel attached to them even when I rarely communicate with them. Then my dad's family, which is also quite large but very (and do I mean very) disfunctional. He has totally disassociated himself from them, but my...call it curiosity, is aroused and I'd like to meet more of them. Lots in Montreal and quite a few in a small Italian village. And then there's the Mexican family that my uncle married into in Victoria - they are so super nice to me and are really the only family I've ever known in Canada, but they are also distant and it's kind of odd because they think education is shit and I just can't agree with them on that point. Not that I think education is everything, but not a single one of them has ever read a book for pleasure. The idea is laughable to them - most of them are working 2 jobs in order to support their kids. And they have a point that they're Mexican, and even if they educate themselves to the limit, this country still won't be so nice to them.So I know in a very vague sense that I have this massive community of support, but it's really vague. And I don't want it to be vague anymore.
Am I nesting? Why am I suddenly wanting to feel like part of a community?
Maybe because I was part of a very large family of friends in Prague and I loved the sense of security it gave me. Maybe I want to feel that more often.
I'm also looking back on how many good friends I've just lost touch with over the years. I've moved to a new city every 2 years since I was 19 and I did a lot of moving before then too and it just seems like I'm a place just long enough to develope a good circle of people and then I take off. I suppose it's the consequence of constantly wanting a new scene, but I've ditched some really loyal friends in the process and that just ain't right.
Perhaps it also has something to do with feeling connected in general. I mean, the more love the better right? Love and care just make you feel more connected to the universe, more willing to put love out there.
Who knows. But I will say that I've met some fabulous people over the years, both family and other. I want to thank all of them for having tried to be good friends with a girl who hasn't really given a whole lot back in return (other than her strange perversities).
Must go see more theatre. Can't stop.
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