8.26.2004

Warning: I'm having some thoughts but its early and I don't have much time so eloquency might be out the window.

I read in the G&M this weekend that because of this baby with genes for severely advanced muscle developement, scientists are looking into seeing if we can create this kind of muscle developement in atheletes by giving them this genetic abnormality. There was this whole question about whether or not this is the same as cheating through drugs like steroids. This question did not fascinate me terribly as in my opinion the answer is Hell Yes it's the same type of cheating as steroids.

However, they also mentioned what it would be like if we all got this, if we developed a race of super humans or something. I then started thinking about the kids who just couldn't seem to develope muscle in high school and how they got picked on and had the stupid thought of - well hey, in a milder form, this could help them out a little. Yes, it was a stupid thought but it then led me to something else.

I got to thinking about how all the so-called "geeks" in high school become more coveted hombres later on and how the Chachies are now the guys girls my age laugh at. (Actually, I always laughed at them especially when I decided that out of curiosity I would sleep with one and he turned out to be "5 Second Boy"). How much of who these fabulous "geeks" turned out to be had to do with their physicality?

Certainly I know that my height deficiency has totally affected who I am. It's made me less afraid to ask for help, but also louder and more gregarious so that people notice me. Perhaps because of the way people have always sort of patted me on the head, I've developed the ability to be stupidly cuddly and cute and also extremely foul mouthed in order to prove the short=cute & innocent theory wrong. Maybe even my interest in children's literature, which so often has to do with the small being able to conquer or at least succeed amongst the big has stemmed from my height. I mean, look at my obsession with hobbits for fuck's sake. And I'm damn happy to be who I am, it's just that I'd never really given that much thought as to how my physicality affected my personality.
I've never really given into the whole body image thing, I eat what I want, have never dieted, no food issues, so it's kind of hard for me to try and distinguish between not caring about the body image stuff and also recognizing that my body may have a lot to do with who I am. Is this making any sense?

Anyhoo, just a thought.

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