This week's Sunday Scribblings is kissing. I was going to try to write something creative, but actually I've been wanting to post about people writing about kissing in all the erotica I read. Some people really have describing kissing down, they really get how to do it. But no one I have read has ever described french kissing well, actually if I read one more description of "tongues dueling" I just might throw myself off this mortal coil. Tongues don't fucking "duel." I'm not quite sure how to describe what they do do, but it ain't dueling. I also don't like the description of tongues
"stroking/exploring every bit of the inside of his mouth" - that just creeps me out, what is the guy doing? Counting your teeth? I just don't know that any writer has ever done the tongue action justice - this is not to diss any writers in particular, I just don't know if the act of two wet, slimy protuberances joining in a moist environment will ever be successfully described. In fact, here, I issue an addendum on to the kissing challenge! Describe a hot french kiss, the tongues involved in it, and do it so it makes me weep for the beauty of it.

Hot fanfic is fairly difficult to find, in reality. I've been reading a lot more for the writing than the porn, but I've noticed that the writers that are just downright steamy (who needs a humidifier?) are the ones who get the angst just right. They know how to bring an intensity to the moment of copulation through the utter angst of "how can this actually work, heartbreak is imminent" and then they just desribe the act really really well. So basically, if you're looking to write hot smut, my years of reading expertise have given me the formula:
angst + hotgraphicdescription = good porn.

This is a review of some of Mairead/Aristide's fic (her dark and light personas have different noms de plumes). She is by far the angstiest, hottest slash writer out there and this review is actually of one her lighter stories.
Aristide: The Declaration

I'm just. I can't. Mo-ther. I'm just gonna paste in my fb to her as the rec:

I may have mentioned this before, but... Jesus GOD, woman! This story is a
*sin*. See, 'cause, I'm panting and my eyes are tearing and I'm at that stage
where I just want to find two recently showered huge, hairy biker bears and
let them take turns before coming back to devour them until they *scream*.

My inner sub is quivering. My inner dom is *roaring*.

But dammit, the build-up was so *good*. It was! It made me smile, and it
was so *them*, even without the blood and god *dammit* its' not *fair* what
you do to me. Duncan. Methos. *wail*

Mother Mary.

Get the picture?

Where was I? Right, kissing. Kisses without the actual description of the tongues involved have been very well written in erotic fanfic. I shall leave you with descriptions from one of my alltime Spander faves, she's both funny and talented, the fabulous Anna S.

From "A Week of Wrong"
He palmed Spike's neck, rubbed his thumb across the collarbone and then up. When Xander caught his eye again, the vampire was gazing at him like dinner, lips ever so slightly parted. That called for a kiss, tongue even, and as their mouths closed negotiations, something like a light switch snapped on and Xander came to and felt what he was about to do with every shocked, electrified cell of his body. He made a ragged sound and forced Spike's mouth open, finding an angle that made so much sense he finally got it, he got geometry.

From "The One in the Cave"

This is one of the classic Spander plots where they get caught by monsters and the only way to get out of a bad situation is to screw. This moment comes after Xander states humourously
"Just so we're clear: I'd never screw you if the alternative wasn't giant pigs."

A few minutes became a few more and they were still just kissing but it didn't feel like they weren't making progress. Xander felt as if this was the first real conversation he'd had with Spike and every moment that passed he understood more and more. Spike was telling him things, his thoughts; secret thoughts, quiet thoughts, soft thoughts, thoughts that were broken and tangled and difficult to get across, and serious; and Xander talked back and could feel words spilling out the way they did when he was excited, jumbling and tripping back over themselves, and the conversation slipped into that groove where you're both talking over each other, finishing each other's sentences, nodding, yes, yes, because you're both on the same wavelength, and you need to get out this next thought, and another, and get to the end of it, because when you do, the other person will laugh, nodding in recognition, and you'll laugh in relief, being heard. Xander was being heard.


Anonymous Heather said...

Wow. I've got to read more slash. It often seems to have such a tenderness to it. And a yearning.

12:10 p.m.  
Blogger Cate said...

I love this post--you made me laugh and think and laugh some more. I esp. enjoyed the "counting your teeth" line!

Also, thanks for your generous comment on my Scribbling--it's nice to meet you!

5:19 p.m.  
Anonymous Brian said...

He was caught by her lips; the quick lick that added a wet layer. Moist now, hint of white glinting. Moving closer, an air of disdain as she dismissed him with a quick flick of her head. Four fingers and a thumb; that's all it took to meet hard and soft, pressed open, sweet tang, taste of lime. Sucking him in, teeth clamp and scrape; rolling pressure swallows moisture, direct line to arousal. Spit out; red cheek and walks away, swaying hips promise other lips.

5:45 p.m.  
Blogger Remiman said...

Sounds like a good prompt for sunday Scribblings:
Describe a "french" kiss.
Nice job.

7:52 p.m.  
Blogger Inconsequential said...


2:23 a.m.  
Blogger Inconsequential said...

Thankyou for your very kind comment.
I'm glad you enjoy it, but suspect you over-rate me :)
You have however intrigued me with the bit "pretentious education in lit", I don't think any language education can be pretentious...


anyway, thanks for reading my crap, and a bigger thanks for writing stuff for others to enjoy, your words are cool.

2:29 a.m.  
Blogger Janie Hickok Siess, Esq. said...

"Tongues dueling" . . . bahahaha. Now I know why I don't read that stuff!

3:38 a.m.  
Blogger Crafty Green Poet said...

I don't read it but was aware of the Buffy fan fiction out there, but Xander and Spike had never crossed my mind. Hmmm

7:32 a.m.  
Blogger Novel Nymph said...

I am equally glad for Sunday Scribblings--your blog and writing are equally to die for!

8:58 a.m.  
Blogger Becca said...

You know what? I think that so many people get kissing wrong in writing is that they mistake the Prelude for The Main Event. Has anyone, post-adolescence, actually been all that interest in kissing for kissing's sake? When is the last time you just kissed and kissed and kissed without a thought to more juicy activities? It's like--try to describe the appearance of your favourite food. Not the taste, not the smell or texture, just the appearance. Sure, some food (mainly fancy bakery goodies and such) is pretty, but that's just not the point, is it?

12:28 p.m.  
Anonymous paul said...

I just have to respond to Becca. I went through a few weeks where due to a cold sore I could not use my mouth and those were very very long weeks. Go through that and you will realize that kissing is more than a prelude. I don't have a good analogy at hand but I will possibly write again later (with an attempt at the french kissing passage though it is a hard one). I am ludicrously post adolescent and still am quite capable of having my socks blown right fucking off by the right kiss. (Not that I don't want more after that but that's no way to measure it since wanting more follows just about all those fun things).

2:21 p.m.  
Blogger tania said...

Holy frijole! So many comments.
Heather: everyone should read more slash.

Cate: glad you liked. happy i could bring out a chuckle.

Brian: thanks for the entry! still no mention of tongues though. maybe it's the word "tongue". it's not exactly a sensual word.

Remiman: I shall mention it to the Sunday Scribbling people. We'll see if they go for it.

Inconsequential: I am not over-rating you. And no, of course there is nothing pretentious about those who enjoy a good literary bachanalia - oops, did that sound pretentious? :)

Janie: yeah, the dueling is a bit much, but it is fun stuff to read.

Crafty: oh the myriad of Buffy coupling combinations, i think the funniest i've seen is oz and giles. if you're a fan of the show, i honestly would check out the Spuffy Barb link - she doesn't write erotica, just fic. it's very good.

Novel Nymph: you are over-rating my blog, but thanks!

Becca: actually, though i agree that many don't really think of kissing as the main event, i totally still do. kissing for hours...well maybe one hour, is just the best. i still adore making out with all the clothes on, all tangled up.

Paul: looking forward to the attempt!

4:21 p.m.  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Their two tongues touched in a warm, wet tango of tonguiness. In their separate yet united mouths a bilingual party of lunging, licking, and lapping exploration of taste buds, tonsils, and teeth. Tongue. Tongue. Tongue. Meanwhile, the French are perplexed and indignant, as usual, but perhaps with good reason.

7:51 a.m.  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

I do not wish to be anonymous. Why can't I choose my identity? The last post was by Kirt Vocals.

7:53 a.m.  

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