"I'll have to remain chained to my computer, monitoring your blog, masturbating furiously. Actually that sounds like a great name for an art installation: "... monitoring your blog, masturbating furiously." You may use it if you wish."
Thanks Fugger. Your reaction to my creating a blog was definetely the best. I would highly approve of your starting your own blog because you write amazingly well.
Today's topics: porn and open relationships. It might be a long one today so I hope you're all bored at work.
Miss K.Lo sent me a very interesting article from the guardian about the new female-run porn industry. I'm not sure if this link will work,
http://observer.guardian.co.uk/magazine/story/0,11913,1001733,00.html
Some of you may know that there was a time in Prague where I had the opportunity to set up a sex shop. We had a couple of backers and I was certainly interested. Things didn't work out, which was unfortunate, but some of the discussions I ended up having with my partner were quite interesting. She wanted to have all this art work, and fancy glass blown dildos, and arty soft porn whereas I was more interested in the actual sex stuff. I wasn't really in agreement with all the fru fru stuff. And I felt weird that I wasn't, like I wasn't feminine or something.
The article in the guardian states that the female-run sex shop may seem like new found sexual liberation, but is actually more about fashion and style than about women having orgasms. You have crystal dildos going for $1000, they have no vibration and don't really feel that good because they're completely hard and you can't sterilize them! Now, part of this might be that women like pretty things and that to have sexual toys and porn for women, it has to be prettier than the stuff for men, but a 1000 dollar dildo that doesn't even give you an orgasm seems to be missing the point of female sexual liberation. I can't just want to have an orgasm, I have to want a stylish orgasm, or in the case of aforementioned dildo, I just have to want style sitting limply in my pussy. So I'm curious about how this "sexual revolution" is going to turn out. Don't get me wrong, I think it's better than nothing to have all this female run stuff, and that at least I can talk about masturbating without getting strange looks, but right now the sex shops seem like they are just taking more advantage of female insecurity and trying to get them to feel like they have to spend a ton of money to have an orgasm when it's really as simple as reading Anais Nin and limbering up your fingers.
The female run porn industry looks like it's doing a better job of getting down to brass tacks and just making movies about sex, but with prettier guys and no as much mysogeny. I haven't seen any of it yet, but I'm looking.
And I ask you this, do all women want pretty sex? I know there are times when I like it kinda dirty...
Speaking of which, I've just moved to a new city and am meeting new people and am getting asked about the ol' open relationship yet again. It occured to me as I was trying to explain my relationship with Adam for the billionth time, that perhaps the reason people keep asking is that I'm not really explaining it all that well. Corrine is actually the person who summed it up best, and I will always truly love her for this. She said (and I will remember these words till the day I die, because it was the first time anyone appeared to really understand) "Relationships are about feeling safe and being able to trust, some people need different things to feel safe. You don't need sexual fidelity to feel safe, but you probably need other things." I don't need sexual fidelity to feel safe. So, for those of you who think this might be true for you as well, I thought I'd give out some of the main perks of doing the free love for all thing.
Perk#1: I'll admit, things do get a little tricky when something else is wrong in the relationship and you add sex with other girls. But I've found that for me, it's actually made the rest of our relationship healthier because you have to be in a healthy and safe and trusting place in order for the open part to work. So it forces us to work harder on keeping our issues solved. And plus, nothing gets you realizing there's a problem faster than him fucking other girls. For example have you ever realized that something has been wrong with your relationship for ages, but you've only just recently started to figure out what it is? Well, I don't have that with Adam, I start to realize something's wrong pretty damn quick.
Perk#2: By wanting to fuck around Adam has really just chosen to work a lot harder than other guys. We all know the romance diminishes after awhile in all relationships, but most of you other girls just have to accept it. I don't. You see, Adam can't get less romantic and take me out less, because I insist that he put as much effort into me as he does into his tarts (otherwise it just wouldn't be fair). So after three years I still get treated like a princess, taken out to operas and fancy dinners and snuggles on every single escalator (beautiful inventions for the short). He has to put a lot of effort into making me feel secure, I'd wager quite a large some of money (which I don't have, but whatever) that he puts more effort into that than most guys in monogamous relationships.
Perk#3: Every time he goes out with a tart he appreciates me more. Lets face it, you fall in love with someone for a reason but sometimes after a few years you forget what that reason is and you stop appreciating what you have. Adam goes on dates and realizes time and again what he has in me and how much better I am than all those other girls. One of my friends corroborated this by going out with Mr. B while she was considering entering a more serious relationship with Mr. A. The date with Mr. B was so dull and boring that she ran into Mr. A's arms, finally appreciating that what he had to offer was better than the others.
Perk#4: Now...hopefully Adam's not reading this. And not I'm encouraging this kind of thought. If you're entering into an open relationship you should really be more mature than this but... How is it possible for me to ever do anything really wrong when my guy fucks other girls? Oh girls, you're homefree, they can't get totally irate with you for silly shit because well, you let them fuck other girls. You can get away with so much more, ask for so much more attention, all of it!
Now some of you may be asking yourselves about me and my sexual liaisons. Well folks, I don't have them. After a lot of contemplating, I've taken myself out of the open deal. Which, yes, means that he fucks around and I don't. Now I get a lot of bullshit about him using me etc - please, as all of you are my friends and know that I'm happy with Adam don't make this assumption anymore. You all know I'm a smart girl, don't think that I'm just his puppet who sits around waiting for him to call and taking his abuse, it's just insulting. I realized that I don't want to have sex with other guys (unless they're really good friends, and we have a rule about having sex with friends because it just gets too complicated so, no sex with friends for me) and that our relationship has always been about freedom and doing everything to give the other person what they need. I didn't know what I needed, but thought long and hard about it and came up with a few things. Nothing on my list had anything to do with fucking other guys, so I'm no longer open for business (well, for girls yes). I was silly for the first bit of the relationship when I assumed that I needed the same sexual freedom that he does. Everybody needs something different. And that's an important lesson for any relationship - figuring out what you need and getting it.
OK, you're all bored to tears now, so I'll leave you all. But feel free to direct others to this site. Just not my parents.
Thanks Fugger. Your reaction to my creating a blog was definetely the best. I would highly approve of your starting your own blog because you write amazingly well.
Today's topics: porn and open relationships. It might be a long one today so I hope you're all bored at work.
Miss K.Lo sent me a very interesting article from the guardian about the new female-run porn industry. I'm not sure if this link will work,
http://observer.guardian.co.uk/magazine/story/0,11913,1001733,00.html
Some of you may know that there was a time in Prague where I had the opportunity to set up a sex shop. We had a couple of backers and I was certainly interested. Things didn't work out, which was unfortunate, but some of the discussions I ended up having with my partner were quite interesting. She wanted to have all this art work, and fancy glass blown dildos, and arty soft porn whereas I was more interested in the actual sex stuff. I wasn't really in agreement with all the fru fru stuff. And I felt weird that I wasn't, like I wasn't feminine or something.
The article in the guardian states that the female-run sex shop may seem like new found sexual liberation, but is actually more about fashion and style than about women having orgasms. You have crystal dildos going for $1000, they have no vibration and don't really feel that good because they're completely hard and you can't sterilize them! Now, part of this might be that women like pretty things and that to have sexual toys and porn for women, it has to be prettier than the stuff for men, but a 1000 dollar dildo that doesn't even give you an orgasm seems to be missing the point of female sexual liberation. I can't just want to have an orgasm, I have to want a stylish orgasm, or in the case of aforementioned dildo, I just have to want style sitting limply in my pussy. So I'm curious about how this "sexual revolution" is going to turn out. Don't get me wrong, I think it's better than nothing to have all this female run stuff, and that at least I can talk about masturbating without getting strange looks, but right now the sex shops seem like they are just taking more advantage of female insecurity and trying to get them to feel like they have to spend a ton of money to have an orgasm when it's really as simple as reading Anais Nin and limbering up your fingers.
The female run porn industry looks like it's doing a better job of getting down to brass tacks and just making movies about sex, but with prettier guys and no as much mysogeny. I haven't seen any of it yet, but I'm looking.
And I ask you this, do all women want pretty sex? I know there are times when I like it kinda dirty...
Speaking of which, I've just moved to a new city and am meeting new people and am getting asked about the ol' open relationship yet again. It occured to me as I was trying to explain my relationship with Adam for the billionth time, that perhaps the reason people keep asking is that I'm not really explaining it all that well. Corrine is actually the person who summed it up best, and I will always truly love her for this. She said (and I will remember these words till the day I die, because it was the first time anyone appeared to really understand) "Relationships are about feeling safe and being able to trust, some people need different things to feel safe. You don't need sexual fidelity to feel safe, but you probably need other things." I don't need sexual fidelity to feel safe. So, for those of you who think this might be true for you as well, I thought I'd give out some of the main perks of doing the free love for all thing.
Perk#1: I'll admit, things do get a little tricky when something else is wrong in the relationship and you add sex with other girls. But I've found that for me, it's actually made the rest of our relationship healthier because you have to be in a healthy and safe and trusting place in order for the open part to work. So it forces us to work harder on keeping our issues solved. And plus, nothing gets you realizing there's a problem faster than him fucking other girls. For example have you ever realized that something has been wrong with your relationship for ages, but you've only just recently started to figure out what it is? Well, I don't have that with Adam, I start to realize something's wrong pretty damn quick.
Perk#2: By wanting to fuck around Adam has really just chosen to work a lot harder than other guys. We all know the romance diminishes after awhile in all relationships, but most of you other girls just have to accept it. I don't. You see, Adam can't get less romantic and take me out less, because I insist that he put as much effort into me as he does into his tarts (otherwise it just wouldn't be fair). So after three years I still get treated like a princess, taken out to operas and fancy dinners and snuggles on every single escalator (beautiful inventions for the short). He has to put a lot of effort into making me feel secure, I'd wager quite a large some of money (which I don't have, but whatever) that he puts more effort into that than most guys in monogamous relationships.
Perk#3: Every time he goes out with a tart he appreciates me more. Lets face it, you fall in love with someone for a reason but sometimes after a few years you forget what that reason is and you stop appreciating what you have. Adam goes on dates and realizes time and again what he has in me and how much better I am than all those other girls. One of my friends corroborated this by going out with Mr. B while she was considering entering a more serious relationship with Mr. A. The date with Mr. B was so dull and boring that she ran into Mr. A's arms, finally appreciating that what he had to offer was better than the others.
Perk#4: Now...hopefully Adam's not reading this. And not I'm encouraging this kind of thought. If you're entering into an open relationship you should really be more mature than this but... How is it possible for me to ever do anything really wrong when my guy fucks other girls? Oh girls, you're homefree, they can't get totally irate with you for silly shit because well, you let them fuck other girls. You can get away with so much more, ask for so much more attention, all of it!
Now some of you may be asking yourselves about me and my sexual liaisons. Well folks, I don't have them. After a lot of contemplating, I've taken myself out of the open deal. Which, yes, means that he fucks around and I don't. Now I get a lot of bullshit about him using me etc - please, as all of you are my friends and know that I'm happy with Adam don't make this assumption anymore. You all know I'm a smart girl, don't think that I'm just his puppet who sits around waiting for him to call and taking his abuse, it's just insulting. I realized that I don't want to have sex with other guys (unless they're really good friends, and we have a rule about having sex with friends because it just gets too complicated so, no sex with friends for me) and that our relationship has always been about freedom and doing everything to give the other person what they need. I didn't know what I needed, but thought long and hard about it and came up with a few things. Nothing on my list had anything to do with fucking other guys, so I'm no longer open for business (well, for girls yes). I was silly for the first bit of the relationship when I assumed that I needed the same sexual freedom that he does. Everybody needs something different. And that's an important lesson for any relationship - figuring out what you need and getting it.
OK, you're all bored to tears now, so I'll leave you all. But feel free to direct others to this site. Just not my parents.
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